Anorak News | Jade Goody’s Celebrity Cancer: Her Last Interview, Christening Tadpoles And Aftershave

Jade Goody’s Celebrity Cancer: Her Last Interview, Christening Tadpoles And Aftershave

by | 11th, March 2009

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer, featuring her last interview, tadpoles and aftershave…

JADE Goody is giving her “last ever interview and final pictures” to OK! magazine.

Jade is pictured with her husband, Jack Tweed, and her former lover Jeff Brazier, father to her two children, also featured.

Says Jade:

“I believe in reincarnation. My mum swears that her granddad came back as bee that used to sit at her window… I’d rather come back as an old woman because I have a thing for old biddies.”


JADE HITS A GRAN IN FACE,” says the Sun’s front page. Reading on, we learn that Jade Goody “belted a granny twice in the face after wading in to a cinema bust-up”.

[Grandma] Brenda is less than pleased. “Her language was disgusting,” says Brenda of Jade. “She called me a fat c***. I used to like her from the telly but now I think she’s a piggy-faced thug.”

Jade wants to live on after she dies. She looks forward to whispering is Jeff’s ears, “Put the aftershave on the boys before they go to school!

In the hospital chapel, all is stilled by a “heavy silence”. Bobby wants to know, “Is mummy going to be in a wedding dress again?”

After the christening, readers hears from Jade:

“I’ve been following the advice of the experts and gradually telling them that the tadpoles are getting stronger.”

Daily Mirror: “I AM SCARED TO FALL ASLEEP – Brave Jade gives her last interview”

“I might fall asleep one day and not wake up and that is a scary thing to think about.

“No one should worry about me, though. I’m in terrible pain, but I am determined to make sure the time I have left is fun with my mates and family.”

Irish Independent: “C’mon, man, let it go…”

Throughout the whole Jade Goody saga, one thing has been consistent — the presence of Max ‘Wormtongue’ Clifford, the man who has roughly the same relationship with the truth as a mongoose with a snake.

Ubiquitous, unpleasant and always available for a quote, Clifford has been milking this one like a dairy farmer on speed…

According to one of Clifford’s American contacts: “Hollywood loves a heartwarming, inspirational story, especially about someone who has turned their life around such as Jade.”

Now, maybe this column is going soft in its old age, but as anyone who lost someone to cancer will tell you, the phrases “heartwarming” and “inspirational” seldom spring to mind.

Still, a tenner on Charlize Theron getting the part.

The Spoof: “Jade “Goody Bags” available soon”

The day after Jade’s death a strictly limited edition of “Goody Bags” will be available in high end retail outlets like Lidl, Aldi and Half price or less. The bags will have an edible replica of Jade’s ashes and will be available in strawberry and lemon flavours.

She added that she doesn’t want people to get distracted by pictures of Jack out with his friends – or by his second assault conviction in less than six months, which could see him return to jail just before or after she dies: “What’s important is that he’s been there for me, yes, despite all the pictures of him out and about with his mates.

Fametastic: “Jade Goody defends husband Jack Tweed’s partying”

Jade Goody – Why do they stare?

Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink