Anorak News | Fergie Spreads Lipstick On Barack Obama

Fergie Spreads Lipstick On Barack Obama

by | 11th, March 2009

FERGIE, the singer who wets herself, and not the self-styled Duchess who doesn’t wet herself but knows a few royals who do and reserves the right to film it for historical record, is the lips of a new HIV prevention lipstick.

The sticky-fingers of adolescence produce a loud fnar, but we are assured that the lippy is applied to the face and not used in onanistic place of a flesh and bone member.

Says the LA Times:

When you’re one of the host of young celebrities who spent the last year giving their all for Barack Obama, it can be hard to find a second act with significance.

And what better way to follow cheering for Obama than by painting a veneer of shiny gloss on the face of the same old mush?

Fergie, who attended Obama’s inauguration and pronounced herself “awed”, now has a soft pink-tinged rose lipstick:

“I went through about 10 shades before deciding on this one,” Fergie said almost wistfully. She said she wanted to make sure the color worked for a variety of skin tones.

While Obama puckers up, he backs stem-cell research.

In part, that’s because it seems to offer hope as a way to produce new treatments that touch prominent film and television families personally: spinal injuries (Christopher Reeve); Parkinson’s (Michael J. Fox) and juvenile diabetes (Jerry and Janet Zucker and Douglas Wick and Lucy Fisher)…

In preparation for his announcement Monday, Obama’s staff invited Lansing, the Zuckers, Fisher and Wick to attend the news conference.

It’s all very reminiscent of Cool Britannia, the slogan of Tony Blair’s UK Plc, with Obama as “Mr Cool Britannia” – you’ll recall how “Mr Cool Britannia” was Robin Cook, a man slightly less cool than a wasabi enema.

Blair and his then Deputy John Prescott were the prototypes for David Mitchell and Robert Webb’s Apple Mac adverts, only with both of them being right about everything and out smugging each other.

The Cool Britannia entourage featured Zeinab Badawi, the Channel 4 news reader, Paul McCartney’s daughter Stella McCartney, a Music Forum advised by Simply Red singer Mick Hucknall. If you were a neurotic, preening politician with his tie on too tight, this might well have seemed cool. To anyone else, the idea of drinks with Tony Blair is less desirable than a fortnight with Grant Bovey in Anthea Turner’s laundry room.

Now there’s Obama, with Brad Pitt while Gordon Brown scouted for a celeb of his own and pulled Gail Trimble to be his new quiz show tsar.

Beyonce Knowles, who spend her life dry humping pavement, is picked as the role model for the Obama children.

Obama is riding high just now and all the big names want to meet one of their own. But like Tony Blair, Obama’s falls from grace will be marked by the last entries in his autograph book.

The last celebrity to meet Tony Blair Prime Minister… Shilpa Shetty…

Image: Gallery Of The Absurd

Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink