Anorak News | John Mayer Dumps Jennifer Aniston To Write The Great American Tweet

John Mayer Dumps Jennifer Aniston To Write The Great American Tweet

by | 24th, March 2009

JENNIFER Aniston, the luckiest actress in Hollywood, is said to have split from lover John Mayer because he was spending too much time on Twitter and not enough time with her.

A Twitter post is at most 140 characters. Either Mayer is not all that fast a reader, or else he was working on the perfect Tweet, what we may call The Great American Tweet.

A source tells Star magazine about Aniston, the world’s first Twitter Widow.

“John suddenly stopped calling her or returning her emails and when she would finally catch up with him, he’d say: ‘I’ve been so busy with work. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to call you back’.”

That’s 74 characters, minus speech marks and including spaces.

The source adds:

“Jen was fuming. There he was, telling her he didn’t have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates. Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he’d update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like ‘He has time for all this Twittering, but he can’t send me a text, an email, make a call?'”

Jen counters with 88 characters (same rules as above).

Shortly after Aniston’s call, Mayer’s Twitter update read:

‘This heart didn’t come with instructions.’

That’s… 40 characters. Mayer has some way to go to record the perfect Tweet. With 140 characters to play with Mayer is getting nowhere close to the Great American Tweet.

But he will do it.

And once written, Mayer will set his Tweet to music – 140 notes – and create The Twitter Opera of 140 bleeps in 140 minutes. He will then date and leave Aniston 140 times, each split marked with a single full stop.

She will play with her hair and be much loved and admired…

Posted: 24th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink