Anorak News | Six Reasons Why Alan Shearer Will Fail As Newcastle United Manager

Six Reasons Why Alan Shearer Will Fail As Newcastle United Manager

by | 1st, April 2009

THE football world has been rocked – well, shaken a bit – by the not-that-suprising news that Alan Shearer has taken over as Newcastle Utd boss, at least until the end of this season (unless this is a brilliant April Fool’s story??). Howay the lad!

Big Alan’s first game in charge is home to Chelsea. Oh dear. Here, Anorak lists six reasons why Alan will take his beloved club down…

1. He has not got his Uefa coaching badge. Indeed, he has very little coaching experience. Oh well, he’s oor Alan, isn’t he? He’ll be fine…

2. He’s never managed a football club. Small detail, you might say, but a vital one.

3. He’s not the sharpest tool in the box. Judging from his inane, cliché-ridden punditry, Shearer has very little imagination either. That doesn’t bode well.

4. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you can usually get by on supreme charisma (Jose Mourinho) or blind optimistic (see Kevin Keegan). Um, where does that leave Alan?

5. No matter what Shearer does, he can’t match the expectations of Newcastle’s one-eyed fans. He’s not the Messiah, folks.

6. The main reason why Shearer won’t save Newcastle from the drop? The team isn’t very good – and they have a tough run-in. Sorry, Toon Army, you’re headed for the drop.

Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Sports Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink