Anorak News | Apprentice Candidate Wants Ben Clarke Beaten Up

Apprentice Candidate Wants Ben Clarke Beaten Up

by | 16th, April 2009

PAULA Jones is the “FURIOUS Apprentice loser”. So says the Sun.

“Paula Jones has threatened to get show rival Ben Clarke beaten up — by her BOXER brother.”

Ben is the Apprentice’s carbed–up version of Coronation Street’s David Platt. That he is odious is no great observation – all The Apprentice candidates are monumental tossers.

The Apprentice candidates are those people in the room who when someone stares at them belive it not because they are revolting, stupid or in need of a good kicking but because they are attractive, empowered and worthy of adoration.

You stare at Ben because he is wearing trouser braces and has them pulled tight to make his chest look bigger. You stare at Ben because he looks like a tortoise trying to escape his suit. Ben basks in your looks of envy and love. Maybe we should envy him for his arrogance?

And it is Ben who is still in the running for that prized office job in Brentwood. Paula is out. And she is refreshingly bitter about it:

Says Paula:

“Ben is the biggest idiot I’ve ever met. He’s nasty, rude and so full of himself it’s unreal. My brother Philip can’t wait to meet him. He’s a big lad and a professional boxing official — he’ll give him a proper seeing-to!”

A professional boxing official is not the same as a boxer. Counting to ten does not make a man a boxing champion, not even a contender. At Old Mr Anorak’s regular Thai ping-pong invitational, although your writer umpires he does not consider himself sufficiently expert in the “Bangkok Grip” to join in.

Paula adds:

“Ben only cares about himself — there’s no way I could be that nasty. And it was so out of the blue because we’d been getting on and he kept saying nice things about me.

“But as soon as we were in the boardroom he just turned on me. He’s got such a high opinion of himself but he’s just a no-mark — a complete waste of space.”

Or as Paula put it in her sound-bite to camera:

“I am the girl with a plan. I have great wit and strength of character, and I am resilient to the core.”

And she lost to Ben:

“To me making money is better than sex.”

As we say, tosser…

Posted: 16th, April 2009 | In: Reviews Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink