Anorak News | Couple Arrested For Sex On Queen’s Lawn

Couple Arrested For Sex On Queen’s Lawn

by | 30th, April 2009

prince-william-sex1FOLLOWING news that “Royal protection officers “traded porn and fooled about on palace throne”, news that “A randy couple were nicked as they had a steamy sex session — on the Queen’s front lawn.”

Before we begin to analyse the aphrodisiac properties of power, and Her Maj’s seats various, and recall those days of the 1969 Queen’s Garden Party, the Sun tells us:

Crowds of astonished tourists watched as the drunken pair stripped and got down and dirty on a private grass bank at Windsor Castle, where Her Majesty was in residence.

All together:

They’re changing the guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin is g***g d**n on Alice.


The pair romped in daylight beneath the castle’s Garter Tower, in full view of hotels, pubs and shops over the road. Some onlookers cheered them on while others shouted “disgusting” and called cops.

“Get a sun lounger“! Off with his head!

Several Japanese tourists FILMED the session, giving running commentaries to their instant “blue” videos.

Given that many tourist videos are confiscated, we rush to translate:

Haru: “It’s Prince Randy Andy…”
Chiyoko: “No. It’s Sarah Fergie Ferguson”
Haru: “Is Prince Hurry-Up Harry and Chelsy Ravy Davy”
Chiyoko: “Blimey! Is that a tampon?”

Whoops from some spectators alerted Irish Guards sentries, whose barrack room overlooks the lawn.

And they were, of course, outraged, and after 20 minutes apprehended the couple, sah!

Says witness Mark Robinson:

“One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates — and lots of windows opened… They even ignored the Please Keep Off The Grass signs.”

Sure it wasn’t Harry?

Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink