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Georgia’s Would-Be Governor Says He Won’t Have Sex With A Mule Again

by | 30th, April 2009

neil-horsey-mule-fuckerDYLAN Otto Krider profiles Neal Horsey, Georgia Creator’s Rights Party candidate for governor. It turns out that Mr Horsey has had sex with a mule – can anyone now argue with Nominative Determinalism?

Berfore we get to Krider’s interview, here’s a snippet of his confession on Alan Colmes, a FOX News radio program host:

NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”

AC:”I’m not so sure that that is so.”

NH: “You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?”

AC: “Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?”

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…”

Horsley: “You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You’re naive. You know better than that… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it.”

Now in interview II: 

DK: “So, as a candidate for Governor, are you worried about any skeletons in your closet that might get aired in the course of the campaign?”

NH: “No, that’s why I’m running for Governor because I don’t have any skeletons in my closet,” he says. ” I’ve talked about things people would never have talked about. Any skeletons I have, I take them out and rattle them around.”

DK: “What kinds of things?”

NH: “You know what you’re thinking about has been out there…”

DK: “We’re talking about the mule now?”

NH: Yes.

DK: “A small mule?”

NH: “No, a full grown mule. She loved me, though.”

DK: “How big?

NH: The size of a horse. All I had to do was give her an ear of corn. She was a [prostitute] mule.”

DK: “How did you reach?”

NH: “I don’t know… I stood on something. The kicker is, as soon as I was done she pissed all over me. It was embarrassing. I never told anyone that before.”

OK: “That’s right, my friends. This is an Underground exclusive.”

Not only that, but Horsley has had sex with men. He was in the Air Force, it was a cold night, yadda, yadda, yadda, he had sex with him, ahem, the way he did the mule. “It was gross,” he says.

Really? He hadn’t described the mule that way.

NH: “I’ve [screwed] a watermelon.”



Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink