Anorak News | British MPs In Suicide Pact

British MPs In Suicide Pact

by | 1st, May 2009

gordon-brown6MORE news on the Tabloids’ Suicide watch as the Mail cheers readers with news that “Love cheat MPs” are on “’suicide watch‘ as expense claims threaten to expose affairs”.

How the media loves a good suicide story. Having wished death on bankers, the Mail waits for MPs to kill themselves.

Mail readers love it:

* Anyone found to have been fiddling their expenses and abusing the system when the receipts are disclosed should be immediately suspended from Parliament…


* If the corrupt mps want to drop on their sword the sooner the better no one will miss them.

* I would have thought that judging by what we already know about the likes of the so called home secretary´s claims, there would be mass suicides

So who gets to kill themselves first?

Three Labour MPs are said to be terrified that the release of their expenses claims will expose them as adulterers and financial cheats. Four ministers are also understood to have warned party whips they might have to resign for abusing the system, when MPs’ receipts are published before the summer recess in July.


A Commons source told the Mail: ‘The whips have three Labour MPs on suicide watch. That’s how serious this scandal is. The whips believe they might kill themselves.’


“If claiming for bath plugs and patio heaters and porn is not a resigning matter, you know that it’s something grotesquely awful to consider killing themselves.”

Like, well, being mentally unhinged, clinically depressed and wracked with suicidal thoughts?

Other Labour MPs who are believed to be fearful of exposure include the member who got taxpayers to pay for four plasma screen televisions in as many years and several members who have charged expensive helicopter rides to the public purse.

The helicopter is the most dangerous form of mechanised travel, besides the chain saw rickshaw.

Let ‘em ride.

Othrs on Tabloid suicide Watch:

Susan Boyle
Jack Tweed
Shannon Matthews’ kidnapper
JK Rowling
Heather Locklear
Pete Wentz
Jordan twice!
Britney Spears thrice!!
Big Brother star
Jo O’Meara
Jade Goody
Paris Hilton
Amy Winehouse
Paul Gascoigne

Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | TrackBack | Permalink