Anorak News | Swine Flu: Spread By Flies

Swine Flu: Spread By Flies

by | 4th, May 2009

swine-flu-enemaSWINE Flu Watch: Top Tips in the Huffington Post and an attack on a Suffolk school

Kim Evans has some top tips for readers of the Huffington Post.

In Swine Flu: Protect Yourself and Loved Ones Kim advises how to ignore the cries for help from neighbours and save yourself:

The swine flu is very unfortunately upon us, and if you’re like many, you’re asking yourself what you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones. Some very standard things apply:

Burn the pigs!

1) Stay home as much as possible.
2) Avoid public places unnecessarily.
3) Wash your hands frequently, and keep your hands from your face.
4) Get some surgical face masks and wear one when you need to be in public places, even if you feel a little foolish and until others have caught on.

If Evans ever needs a change of career she cold get a job as the Daily Mail’s lead headless chicken. Read her: Antibiotics Cause Cancer?

But she is in employment. You see Evans is employed as a human trashologist:

Your trash is overflowing and you have flies. You can approach this problem in a couple of ways. You can get some bug spray and attempt to kill the flies, but there’s a good chance you’ll find that they just keep coming back and you’ll also have polluted the air around your home.

OR, you can change the environment that attracted the flies in the first place. You can empty the trash and wash out the trash can. Then, you’ll likely find that the flies leave on their own and subsequently are no longer attracted to the area, which solves your problem. In a simplified nutshell, this is how and why cleansing works.

And wash out the nutshell, too. And your nuts.

Cleansing involves changing your internal environment and specifically, removing a bunch of the stored waste that most people have trapped in their bodies. Most estimates are that the average person has ten or more pounds of stored waste just in their colon, and I’d argue far more throughout their body…

We need not starve in this nuclear pig winter!

That said, my opinion is that the most effective cleanses involve enemas or colonics to get in there and physically clean out the filth. Of course, if you go this route, it’s very important that you replace your healthy bacteria afterward with ample probiotics. Not doing so can set you up for more problems than you likely want to deal with.

Kim Evans is “the author of Cleaning Up! which outlines a powerful body cleanse to help remove the years of built up waste that the average person has stored in their body”.

Kim has a vested interest in telling us that a rolled up flannel or hot towel can cure pig flu.

So kids, line up outside the headmaster’s office. Who’s first?

TERRIFIED primary schoolchildren from Suffolk were taken to hospital with vomiting and stomach cramps yesterday after being poisoned by a daffodil bulb mistakenly put in their soup.

When flowers kill!

Pupils from Gorseland Primary School burst into tears amid worries they had caught swine flu or something even more sinister. Nine-year-old Abby Josey started getting stomach pains around ten minutes after eating the food.

She said: “I was worried and thought it was really serious. Some of my friends were saying it was swine flu. Everyone was really tense, worrying and crying because they thought it was really dangerous and thought they might die.”

Stay calm,.Abby. It might not be swine flu. It might just be poisoned flowers, or the Ebola virus, or a tape worm, or a muscle -wasting disease, or the jihadi in the kitchens, or a pancreatic ulcer, or the fact that mum drank a glass of wine when she was pregnant, or…

…a piglet going weee-weee-weee all the way home…


Alan Johnson [Health Secretary] said that the lesson of past pandemics was that initially mild outbreaks had been followed by something “much more serious”.

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Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink