Anorak News | Jennifer Aniston Brings Beckham To Her Senses

Jennifer Aniston Brings Beckham To Her Senses

by | 5th, May 2009

heat-magazineSKINNY is over!” announces heat magazine. And to prove how over skinny is, Jennifer Aniston has “put on half a stone”, “Posh bulks up at gym!” and Hello! magazine comes equipped with a bar of KitKat senses.

Unwrap your finger of chocolate, and marvel at how Jennifer Aniston has gained half a stone since she split from John Mayer.

Jens looks a “far cry from the shots we’re used to seeing of her on the beech with her trademark toned tummy and tony waist.”

A “far cry” – or a good cry?

And can you trademark a tummy? If Jennifer Aniston has a trademark isn’t it her hair? No not the hair on her tummy, the hair on her head. Although if anyone is up to the tummy hair challenge it is versatile Jen.

And what of Her Posness, who has been “bulking up a touch”?

Sticky Vicky, we learn, has bulked up by jogging and hefting weights.

And food?

“Gordon Ramsay bought me trainers with a little chip in so you can clock how far you’re running.”

You know you’ve run far enough when the little chip stops smelling good and you can taste your own sick…

In other fat news, Closer magazine announces on its front page:

“Kerry sobs over weight gain as she gorges on curry”

And eats a KitKat…

Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink