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Anorak News | Cheryl Cole Orders Her Baby

Cheryl Cole Orders Her Baby

by | 6th, May 2009

spoiltEXCITING news from the life of Cheryl Cole on the cover of OK! magazine:

“ANNOUNCING HER EXCITING NEWS – ‘OUR CHILD WON’T BE A SPOILT LIAR’”

She’s pregnant!

Well, no. But when Cheryl is – maybe – then any child she has with the truth-telling and very unspoilt Ashley Cole will be just like dad.

Says Cheryl:

“I think I’m ready for parenthood now.”

Quick! Get Ashley. What d’yer mean he’s out. Where? Oh, never mind. No time to waste. Get Cheryl on a flight to Malawi. Now!

“I want a big family, so I’m going to have to start soon.”

Forget Malawi. Too far. Get her a fast jet to Romania. Hurry!

Any views on what kind of child you’re after, Cheryl? BOAST – Anorak’s Baby Ordering And Star Treatment Service – is listening:

“There’s no way they’ll get everything they want. I’m glad me and Ashley come from that background because there’s nothing worse than spoilt children.”

Not even a spoilt adult?

“I hate liars,” says Cheryl, who must be due to renew her wedding vows soon.

Where’s that plane?

Ashley Cole Tops List Of Britain’s 20 Most Hated People

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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink