Anorak News | Prince William’s Tampon Tennis

Prince William’s Tampon Tennis

by | 22nd, June 2009

williamPRINCE William and gelfriend Kate Middleton are holidaying under the names Mr and Mrs Smith. This, says the Sun, is to ensure that when they arrived with their armed escorts, drivers, valets, maids and facilitators they blend in with the hotel’s staff.

That’s Wills stood by that ginger lad in the baseball cap and his braying chums playing rugger on the sands in readiness for war in Iraq.

Says the Sun:

Kate used the popular aliases to book them into a holiday home as a birthday treat for Wills, who turned 27 yesterday.

But any hopes the famously shy couple had of a private break were dashed when Wills’ brother Harry, 24 – and a bunch of pals – tagged along. And instead of a romantic dinner on Friday, the lovers went to a boozy beach barbie.

And so goes the media narrative. It’s always happy Harry, the cat’s paw playboy, and sensible Wills, the sensible lad with the sensible ramrod straight back and sensible steady gaze.

No matter that most women would rather be tried to a radiator and forced to drink Terry Waite’s urine than date Harry, and no matter than the most memorable shot of Wills is of him frotting a student in a nightclub.

The story goes on, as told by Alex Peake and Duncan Larcombe:

Wills and Harry knocked back beer and cider and played football before setting up a fire. Wills and Kate then watched the sun set.

The image is lovely, isn’t it. Wills humouring his scamp of a brother and then sat beside his beloved as they gaze over the horizon. No groping. No pissing on the sand. Just soft focus perfection.

The couple’s made-up names mirror those of Charles and Camilla, who famously used to refer to themselves in code as Fred and Gladys.

Or Tampon and Applicator.

Wills yesterday spent the afternoon playing tennis with Kate.

Same old balls, please…

Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (18) | TrackBack | Permalink