Anorak News | Noisy Sex Cause Neighbours To Leave Home

Noisy Sex Cause Neighbours To Leave Home

by | 9th, July 2009

noisy-sexNOISY sexy is causing grief to Marc and Lisa Thompson, who “could be forced to move out of their home in Finstock, Oxfordshire, because of their new neighbours’ noisy lovemaking.

The Thompsons say they have been woken repeatedly in the night since the amorous middle-aged couple moved next door to their home five weeks ago. Their seven-year-old daughter India even had to switch bedrooms to escape the din, which her parents claim is an invasion of their privacy.

Says Mrs Thompson:

“I don’t want India to go to school repeating what she hears to her friends, which will then look bad on us as parents.”

How shameful that your mum and dad are no quiet. What to do? The Thompsons waited for lull in the banging and popped over next door for a chat:

The family approached their married neighbours who agreed to move their bed and place a wardrobe next to the thin adjoining wall, but the Thompsons say the late night commotions have continued.

Says the neighbours:

Why should we not make love? We are married, we have four grown-up kids, at our age it’s good as we can do what we want.”

Anorak readers will recall the name Caroline Cartwright, 48, whose sexual groans and moans earned her a four-year Asbo banning her from making excessive noise anywhere in England.

And what of “Screaming Kerry Norris has made neighbours’ lives hell for 2 and half years, with her headboard banging her flat’s wall…

One of her shocked neighbour Michelle Tyrrell, has revealed that Norris’ constant bonking at night is even affecting her four year daughter, so much so, that the kid once asked her: “Mummy — what does ‘f*** me’ mean’?”…

Norris was fined 200 pounds as well as 100 pounds of costs, and was also asked to pay a 15 pounds “victim surcharge”.

Anorak suggest that the Thompsons, Norris and the Cartwrights execute a house swap. Or tell them the science:

Females who make lots of noise during sex may not be having a great time – it could simply be that their partner has low status…

‘Competition between females can be dangerously high in wild chimpanzees,’ said evolutionary psychologist Simon Townsend, of St Andrews University.

‘Our findings highlight the fact that these females use their copulation calls in highly tactical ways to minimise the risks associated with such competition.’

And Mr Thompson hears all…

Posted: 9th, July 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink