Anorak News | Jermain Defoe Arrested By Celebrity Police Force

Jermain Defoe Arrested By Celebrity Police Force

by | 28th, July 2009

jermain-defoeJERMAIN Defoe, of Tottenham and England, has been arrested.

As the Mirror screams from its front page:

“DEFOE FURY – England ace wrongly arrested and held by cops for five hours”

The Mirror calls them “bungling cops”. But Anorak readers will recognise them for what they are: the Celebrity Police Force. Their mission is to be photographed with as many famous people as possible. Today, the CPF meets Jermain Defoe:

Footballer Jermain Defoe was “unlawfully” arrested today on suspicion of driving while disqualified, his lawyer said. Defoe’s solicitor said the Tottenham and England striker was not disqualified but had been held for more than five hours at a police station in Harlow, Essex.

Driving while disqualified should not be confused with DWB (Driving While Black), which though not a crime, yet, is frowned upon by some police.
Essex Police said the arrest had been based on “inaccurate” information held on a computer.

In interview Defoe was asked about his driving, his licence, his best ever goal, why-oh-why he left West Ham and if Chantelle Houghton sleeps on her back.

Defoe, 26, of Cuffley, Hertfordshire, was convicted of speeding earlier this month by a district judge sitting in Chelmsford, Essex.

Cuffley… More nominative determinism for you, readers.

He was disqualified from driving but the disqualification was suspended pending an appeal – Defoe denied any offence. Nick Freeman, Defoe’s solicitor, said the soccer star had been stopped in the early hours and not released until after 9am.

Says the man they call “Mr Loophole”:

“Despite being told Mr Defoe was not breaking the law and calling for his immediate release, the police would not agree to freeing him until they could clarify the position with the courts at 9am.

“Then, to add insult to injury, once released at just after 9am, the police refused to give Mr Defoe his car back until he produced his documents and stated they were not sure where they had put the vehicle.

“They also refused to return the keys, which were on the same bunch as his house keys, causing Mr Defoe extreme difficulties, not least because he had to return home and pack for a pre-season tour of Asia with his football club.”

Defoe packs his own clothes? Defoe has no housekeeper with keys? Scoops like these are why the CPF remains a valid and photogenic outfit.

One for the album, lads…

Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink