Anorak News | Jade Goody’s Mum Jackiey Is A Damn Lady, Attacks Jeff Brazier

Jade Goody’s Mum Jackiey Is A Damn Lady, Attacks Jeff Brazier

by | 18th, October 2009

6919201A MISSIVE from Jade Goody Industries drops through the post box, containing the latest minutes of the AGM, as told to the News of The World by the Goody Mum.

The chairman, Max Clifford, introduces the board members to today’s agenda:

JADE Goody’s distraught mum Jackiey fears she’ll lose her two precious grandchildren for ever after an explosive row with their dad Jeff Brazier. She begged her tragic daughter’s ex not to stop her seeing the boys, pleading…

Jackiey Bidden, for it is she, raises to her feet, as best she is able, and delivers:

“You HAVE to understand. . . Jack lost a wife, I lost a daughter and Bobby and Freddie lost a mum – you never lost anything! I’m NOT living without the boys. Please Jeff, you CAN’T cut me off from them, they’re all I have left of Jade.”

The shareholders – members of the tabloid press – fidget in their seats. It’s good news but can the Jade Goody brand survive a schism? Will Jackiey be able to work the Jade goody mines alone?

An institutional shareholder, News International, stands up and announces:

Bisexual ex-junkie Jackiey Budden, 51, (pictured above) spoke out after the News of the World revealed that GMTV star Brazier vowed to BAN widowed stepdad Jack Tweed from contact with his sons – aged six and four – and threatened to RESTRICT their access to their gran.

His move followed 22-year-old Tweed’s arrest on a rape charge and Jackiey’s shameful drunken rant in a Tenerife bar where she bragged of using the F-word to discipline the kids.

Now Jackiey is addressing the investors:

“I used to scream, shout and swear. But I’m not like that any more. I’ve become a lady.”

Later adding:

“Jeff knows damn well I don’t let those boys swear. I would never dare look at my grandchildren and say ‘F*** off!‘ They’re good boys. But Jeff didn’t wait and he didn’t listen, he just jumped on the bandwagon.”

To prove that she now longer swears, Jackiey tells the group:

“All he keeps saying is it’s because I told Freddie to f** off, when I never.”

Going on to affirm:

“Jade told the boys ‘Nanny Jackiey’ was always there for them. And she’d be very upset at what Jeff’s doing now, coming out with this c**p about stopping me from seeing them.”

But with no news form Jeff, Jackiey’s rant may not deliver a new welter of Jade Goody news. She needs to prick him into action:

“Jeff’s got to realise that he hasn’t lost anything. Jack is grieving. He’s lost. He’s had the two boys taken away from him, his wife has died. Is Jeff grieving? What’s he got to grieve for? He’s gained two beautiful boys out of all of this.”

Will Jeff respond? And what can Jackiey do in the meantime to keep the Jade Goody factory churning out product?

Jackiey – now planning to marry her ex-soldier boyfriend Jason Cooper, 36, in February…

Will OK! be there? Soldiers of Fortune? The Lady? Says Jackiey of Jeff, still yet to respond:

“He went on and on and on. And he had the cheek to say to me, ‘How dare you still sell your daughter?’ I said ‘Stop there! I have never sold Jade, alive or dead!’ I told him, ‘Read any interview I’ve done and it’s about my OWN life, how I’ve dealt with it since Jade has passed or it’s about my new life with Jason Get it right Jeff!’

“Then he had the nerve to say to me it would be nice if I stayed out of the papers because HE doesn’t do the papers or interviews.

“A week later he has a spread in the News of the World – that’s a hypocrite.”

Come on, Jeff. Speak up. We need a debate, without it the Jade Goody mines may be forced to downsize…

Posted: 18th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink