Anorak News | X Factor: Simon Cowell Seduces Lucie Jones’ Grandma And Jedward

X Factor: Simon Cowell Seduces Lucie Jones’ Grandma And Jedward

by | 10th, November 2009

x-factor-frottingX FACTOR Watch: Simon Cowell seduces Lucie Jones grandma, and makes  a hero of Chery Cole and Jedward more popular than ever.

Daily Mirror (front page): “X RAGE”

There’s a picture of Simon Cowell looking smug. And news in bullet points:

* 3,000 furious complaints on ITV
* Cowell tried to rig Cheryl vote
* Watchdog may probe fix

Taking each of those points in turn – The Fury:

Can a complaint be furious? Well, Lucie’s grandma says “yes”. And she is:

“I was furious. I said all along if it came down to Lucie and anyone else he would get rid of her because he is afraid of her. He is afraid of her voice.”

Well, he doesn’t have to listen to Lucie’s scary voice anymore. Anyone else complaining?

More than 3,000 viewers have complained to ITV after he backed Jedward despite repeatedly describing them as hopeless – allowing talented Lucie Jones to be booted off the show.

Other furious fans swamped websites with protests. One said: “I am never watching X Factor again. Simon’s noticed the huge publicity John and Edward are getting and therefore kept them in to keep the show’s ratings up.”

Fans who will never watch the X Factor against are writing into the X Factor website to say how over the X Factor they are. Got it. Now back to Lucie Jones’ grandma, who is going to give that Mr Cowell what for by giving him money:

I’m going to vote for the twins every week and I hope everyone else does too. That will teach him a lesson.”

The lesson Lucie Jones’s grandma is teaching Mr Cowell is: You can’t lose. He has seduced her into his web of phone lines and uniform acts.

The Ofcom Investigation

Some fans have protested to TV watchdog Ofcom, which may investigate their claims of a fix.

Some fans turns out to be about 50. And Ofcom is a toothless organisation that will do nothing. You read it here first. It might do nothing because – get this – people voted for Lucie Jones to leave the show.

Cheryl Cole

The purpose of the X Factor is to promote Cheryl Cole. So while Simon Cowell plots, Cheryl is forever a national treasure:

“…there’s even talk that, during the commercial break, he tried to persuade Cheryl to back Jedward, so that he could have saved face by keeping Lucie.”

Simon Cowell is trying to control Cheryl Cole? It’s too incredible. What did she do?

“But Cheryl knows her own mind and didn’t want to take the fall for him. She thought Lucie deserved to stay so she voted with her feet. Obviously, Louis and Dannii would save their own acts so he knew Cheryl was his only hope. But she just wouldn’t save the twins, however much he pleaded.”

That a girl, Cheryl. You gave Cowell what for. Vote for Cheryl, who is managed by, er, Simon Cowell.

Daily Star (front page): “Cowell: I’ll bank on twins”

And he will. Ker-ching! Thanks Mrs Jones…

Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink