Anorak News | Youth Rehabilitation Orders Invite You To Join The Debate On Hanging Criminals

Youth Rehabilitation Orders Invite You To Join The Debate On Hanging Criminals

by | 30th, November 2009

asbo1THE Government invites respondents to suggest punishments for criminals aged between 10 and 17. The offenders are the north west of England, but the scheme is open to the entire country so allowing Daily Mail readers and Tories to join in.

It’s all part of the new Youth Rehabilitation Orders (YROs) – pronounced ‘Why Are ‘Ose’ in the manner of Sam Dingle saying “Why ‘r’ ‘ose people erecting a scaffold, father?”

Frances Done, Youth Justice Board ducking stool chair, says through her loud hailer:

For the first time local people are being asked for specific ideas for community reparation which will benefit both their local area and the young person carrying out the work.”

Make the punishment relevant to the community where the crime was carried out. For instance, communities where fanatical Islam is rife can suggest stoning the perp to death; Catholic areas can have the boys sent to see the priest, in confidence (that the truth will never get out); LibDems can sit around the teenage tearaway, hold hand and ask them “What’s the matter?”; Everton fans can give him a season ticket and make him see the team play home and away; Labour wards make the dope smoke Home Secretary; and so on…

“Reparation work is vital in helping the young person understand the consequences of his or her actions while repairing the harm caused by their offence.”

As the villains friends log on to say that Bianca should be awarded compensation and sent to Lapland to meet Santa, Justice Secretary Jack Straw tells BBC Radio 4’s Today show:

“What we’re doing is introducing a smarter and stronger system.”

Because asking everyone else what they think before making a decision makes the judge look firm and decisive. It’s modern political for the masses: no need to make a decision nor voice a belief when you can join the debate.

“It’s a single order… the crown court judge or the youth justice magistrates can select a series of requirements in it. For example, a curfew, education attendant centres, drug treatment, drug testing. In certain cases, electronic monitoring – in other words tagging on a curfew. And right at the top end, intensive supervision and surveillance.”

Press your keypads…now!”

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Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink