Anorak News | Tiger Woods’ Sex Text Messages To Uchitel And Grubbs To Be Published In Tao Of Tiger Book?

Tiger Woods’ Sex Text Messages To Uchitel And Grubbs To Be Published In Tao Of Tiger Book?

by | 3rd, December 2009

tiger_taoTIGER Woods’ women are evidence of why they build golf courses in Las Vegas: sex. Did Tiger Woods play the back nine in Scotland? No. Too miserable, wet and puritanical. Golf in Vegas is the way to make it swing. All of Woods’ alleged mistresses operated in Vegas nightclubs (pictures of them all).

Golfers, you can pull young women with long hair and long legs – boy, does Woods have a type – but only in dimly lit bars in Vegas. (New pictures of another woman getting the Woods’ grip are to the left.)

As we picture the Ryder Cup moment when Woods holes the winning putt and half of the Vegas Strip clatters over the greens in strappy shoes and cowboy hats, texting as they stampede, we arrive at Rachel Uchitel.

Uchitel told the world that she had not been shagging Woods, and that the National Enquirer, which said she had been, was never right, unless it was. The New York Post reports:

Several sources told and that Woods’ camp is working hard to keep Uchitel from talking. One told the site that a $1 million payoff was discussed…

Then Uchitel scheduled a press conference for today as reported that she did in fact have a relationship with Woods, something she was expected to disclose to the media.

tao-of-tiggerAnorak thinks that with other women emerging from the clubs to say they’d done the birdie with Woods, Uchitel had best act fast.

TMZ also reported that it was text messages from Uchitel that sent Woods’ wife Elin flying into an angry rage the night of his crash, which happened early Friday. And Radar noted that Uchitel has saved hundreds of messages from her five-month relationship with Woods.

The texts should be collected and published in a book: the Collected Wisdom of Tiger Woods: Improve Your Stroke With The Master. The Tao of Tiger, will give you things to mumble as you address the ball:

“I will wear you out…when was the last time you got [hit].”

Tiger Woods, making golf look interesting. Anorak’s golf correspondent and ghost writer Teresa Green is waiting for your call, Mr Woods…

Tiger Woods’ Women: The Jaimee Grubbs Nominative Determinism Picture Gallery

Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink