Anorak News | X Factor: Joe McElderry Goes On A Magical Journey With Jan Moir

X Factor: Joe McElderry Goes On A Magical Journey With Jan Moir

by | 14th, December 2009

JOE McElderry is the Factor winner and what we all want to know is what Jan Moir
thinks of it.

What’s the dream? You tell me.

Ok. here goes: I have a dream that one day all columnists die an unnatural death. Oh, and to shag Tiger Woods. Jan’s not listening. She’s moved on:

As a devoted X Factor fan who has been in it for the long haul, the only thing that mattered this weekend was who would finally win the talent show pop crown – Olly, Joe or Stacey?…

Jan likes Stacey. She likes her so much:

Stacey Solomon, the Essex gal who put the oof! in goofy, was the first to go down shrieking… Looking like a freshly shampooed Afghan hound from day one, Stacey had been my favourite all along. However, even I began to tire of her shouty, tonsil-rattling, monomaniac approach to every single song.

Stacey is a dog. And Jan is a…

Like a cracker on Christmas day I was torn, pulled in opposite directions by forces beyond my control.

…a cracker. Anyone seen a picture of Jan Moir. Want to? And then a moment of self-realisation:

Even those who like to complain about it, or see its innocent pleasures as the end of civilization and proper music as we know it, seem to take a curdled and perverse enjoyment in their odium.

She then says Joe McElderry would make a good Tom Thumb in panto. But Jan is nothing is she is not consistent. Says she:

Most of all, of course, the biggest cliche about the X Factor is that it is ‘a journey’.

Or as Jan put it in an ealier ramble:

However, it is still a journey…

Jan Moir – it’s a jouney into hell…


Picture 1 of 17

Stacey Solomon leaves the X factor final at Fountain Studios in north London.

Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink