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Ryanair Scratchcard Winner Eats 10000 Euros

by | 26th, February 2010

ryan-airABOARD a Ryanair plane from Poland to East Midlands airport, a man has won a scartchcard game. His prize: 10,000 euros. He then eats his winning ticket.

As anyone who has endured a Ryanair flight knows, the journey is peppered with offers to buy all manner of wonders – but not porn stars. Every so often the captain and his plane-mates pick up tinny instruments and with a blast of Speedy Gonzalez-style intro tell the seated that they can win big money.

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Having been softened up by the bun-fight for seats, a hideous wait and frisking at the airport and the vague smell of sick, here is the chance to win money and thus afford to travel in something better than abattoir class.

So. Here’s our man. A winner. He made it. He will escape. God speed, fellow traveller. We are not envious but just joyful that one has escaped.

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But the cabin staff will not hand over the cash immediately. A spokesman says the winner must first be “verified”. This is a process that, at a guess, would take about three seconds.

The crew doe not have that kind of cash “kicking around the aircraft“.

“Ok,” says the man, “I’ll take  credit card paym,nt, but you’ll neeed to pay £10 more.” No, only joking. It’s £20.

And, says Ryanair, the money can only be collected from the scratchcard company.

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(Ryanair took almost £550 million in ancillary revenue in 2008, reportedly. You pay in. But you can’t get it out easily.)

And then our winner does the deed.

Angered and enraged, the man eats the ticket. You want the onboard food? Or will, sir, prefer the silvery paper? And do  know, sir, that the silver paper may show up as bomb on the X-Ray machine and possibly result in you being shot in the face…

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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink