Anorak News | Ed Miliband Opens Climate Change And Glee Club As Nursery Adverts Banned

Ed Miliband Opens Climate Change And Glee Club As Nursery Adverts Banned

by | 14th, March 2010

ED Miliband is an expert on energy because on his name badge it says “energy secretary”. It’s a big important title, boys and girls – you Klimate Kops. So listen carefully while Ed tells you that the world is melting and drowning.

And this is Mr Ed , who has already told us:

The government needs to be saying, ‘It is socially unacceptable to be against wind turbines in your area – like not wearing your seatbelt or driving past a zebra crossing’.”

Now for a song in Ed’s Glee Club – putting the Band In Miliband:

“Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub — a necessary course of action due to flash flooding caused by climate change.”

God that, kidzzz? You are going to drown. Only, you’re not – yet. The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) says Ed and his fellow teachers have been exaggerating the potential harm. There is no science to back up their teachings.

Ed’s department – the Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC) – has been told that the adverts should not be published again. They’ve been banned. Which, as we know, kids, only makes the songs more popular. So Ed’s broken record is a shoo-in for the No.1 spot.

The ASA says that two of the DECC’s adverts break the rules on substantiation, truthfulness and environmental claims. But who makes the rule, daddy-o? Sing, the anthems of rebellion, kidz.

Says Ed’s advert:

“Climate change is happening. Temperature and sea levels are rising. Extreme weather events such as storms, floods and heat waves will become more frequent and intense. If we carry on at this rate, life in 25 years could be very different.”

You’ll be dead. But you will die young which is cool as ****. Here’s the B-side:

“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. There was none as extreme weather due to climate change had caused a drought.”

Says Ed:

It then added: “Extreme weather conditions such as flooding, heat waves and storms will become more frequent and intense.”

Says the ASA:

“All statements about future climate were based on modelled predictions, which the IPCC report itself stated still involved uncertainties in the magnitude and timing, as well as regional details, of predicted climate change.”

Says Ed Miliband:

“On the one issue where the ASA did not find in our favour, around one word in our print advertising, the science tells us that it is more than 90% likely that there will be more extreme weather events if we don’t act.”

At which point Ed instructed the children to put their fingers in their ears and scream “Can’t hear you.”

David Miliband Spreads Fear With Climate Change Map

Posted: 14th, March 2010 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink