Anorak News | Wonders of the Solar System: Brian Cox’s Smiley Toy Box

Wonders of the Solar System: Brian Cox’s Smiley Toy Box

by | 23rd, March 2010

THE latest sexy darling of atheists is particle physicist Dr Brian Cox, former rock star member of the band D:Ream. His current BBC2 show Wonders of the Solar System is wowing the so-called intelligentsia in the UK, for reasons beyond my understanding.

It’s telling us nothing we haven’t heard already: the Sun is awfully hot, Mercury is hot, too, but gets very cold at night, Venus is Earth’s carbon alter ego, and there are some helluva storms on Jupiter. True, I hadn’t seen some of the pics of Titan’s surface, but think of sand and stones and, presto, you have Saturn’s Worthing.

What’s tickling mental clits and dicks is Cox’s ability to smile while talking. This is quite an achievement. Most people who smile while talking are probably planning to kill you; they’re loons: but Coxy Babe couldn’t drown a kitten. He’s a cuddlesone, hard-geeing northerner geek in awe of the universe. His very orgasmic, transferable relish in repeating what his profs taught him at uni alchemises his commonplaces, with that toothy smile. That he sounds like a simpleton while parroting the number of air molecules in a pebble disarms because one knows he’s a swot and make no mistake. We need to look down a bit first before we look up.

Cox is a man boy waggling his box of toys at us: he has nothing new to tell us, just a new way – thanks to his talking smile. At public expense he gets to fly at 60,000 ft to admire the dark blue of the sky, to drive over desert sand dunes to show us what Mars is like (air: thin), and he lights Chinese lanterns to demonstrate the effects of hot air. Oh, it rises.

No wonder he’s smiling. I’d be laughing in his shoes.

(The Mail on Sunday columnist Suzanne Moore wrote me on Facebook after I said Cox was like a kid with toys: “Told Brian what you said. He said Tell them from me that they should stick to shaking their jowels and drinking Claret and leave science to the big boys and girls 😉 Oooooh x”

Madame Arcati

Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink