Anorak News | Britain’s Got Talent: New Susan Boyle Janey Cutler Refuses To Die On Demand

Britain’s Got Talent: New Susan Boyle Janey Cutler Refuses To Die On Demand

by | 10th, May 2010

THE world is going bonkers for Britain’s Got Talent singer Janey Cutler. For those of who didn’t catch the show, Janey is the 81-year-old singing an Edith Piaf number. The combination of being able to breathe, dress herself and not be on the telly to illustrate a news item about a mugging or the winter fuel allowance makes Janey Cutler a media phenomenon.

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The Star says the web has gone into “meltdown” ever since Janey appeared on the magic box. Her singing has scored a “whopping 100,000 hits” on YouTube. This makes Janey much less popular than Anorak. But as we say, Janey is 81, and gray hair and wrinkles usually act like an invisibility cloak to the media masses.

Janey Cutler says she has had a “great life”. But the BGT narrative needs for her to have suffered. So, here’s the Star to tell of her being “twice widowed”, “losing a child when he was just 10 months old” and living alone with a dog called Tara. Yeah, as in Ta-ra – because Janey is old, readers, and that has her one foot down life’s plughole.

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But above all this celebration of a Janey Cutler is her billing as the new Susan Boyle. No, she’s not Janey Cutler, aged singer; she’s Susan Boyle. This is a fact cemented by its repetition in the media:


Danielle Gusmaroli (Daily Star): Britain’s Got Talent sensation Janey Culter is at the centre of a US television bidding war after being dubbed the new SuBo.

Lincolnshire Echo: “BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT: Is 80-year-old Janey Cutler the new Susan Boyle?”

3News (NZ): “Britain’s Got Talent’s ‘new Susan Boyle’”

The Sun: “BRITAIN’S Got Talent’s “new SuBo” is on track for global fame after attracting massive interest in the US.”

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Meanwhile, what of Janey Cutler, caught beneath the wheels of the media truck? Says she:

“It’s flattering to be compared to Susan… I’d like to be successful in my own way. If not, I am just going to enjoy myself. I love singing. I’m glad I’m getting to experience the good life and have some fun.”

What’s that, dear? More tea and tissues? Look, it’s Deal Or No Deal on the telly. You have nice sit down, dear. Here’s that nice Mr Mark Jeffries in the Mirror:

Susan Boyle Senior: Great gran Janey Cutler’s Scottish, shy, sings like an angel and is Britain’s Got Talent’s new star

Britain’s Got Talent is not a hunt for an act to entertain the Queen by. It’s the search for a victim who can keep the media entertained with their deficiencies. And, with any luck, any new SuBo will give the media what they want and have a complete nervous breakdown or, better yet, die…

Posted: 10th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink