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Anorak News | In Pictures: Tired England Rest Up Ready For Season Of Shagging Ahead

In Pictures: Tired England Rest Up Ready For Season Of Shagging Ahead

by | 29th, June 2010

ENGLAND’S ‘tired” footballers returned to London’s Heathrow Airport, still exhausted from playing four games of football in three weeks while staying in a five-star compound in South Africa. Despite all that sight-seeing, eating and resting, the players were still knackered, creamed from a domestic season of shagging, texting and drinking.

Says one player:

“You’ve got no f***ing idea how hard it is to go from shagging in the nightclub toilets to endorsing a new breakfast cereal. It’s a real head-fuck – literally.”

Adds another:

“Once I had to go from a shag at Watford Gap service station car park to a Premier Inn in Poole, which is in fuc***g Dorsetshire, in two hours. And then I had to get back for a 5 o’clock kick-off because bloody Sky had moved the fixture and my wife was expecting me for a pre-match photoshoot with OK!. Is it any wonder I’m tired out? It’s a disgrace.”

Premier League fans should rest assured that the England players will now spend the rest of the summer resting up with the family in a top-end Mediterranean resort complex in readiness for the long season ahead of shagging, bitching, modelling, endorsing and more shagging…

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England ambassador David Beckham arrives at Heathrow Airport, London.



Posted: 29th, June 2010 | In: Sports Comments (16) | TrackBack | Permalink