Anorak News | Lindsay Lohan To Open Rehab Center As Alternative Jail Therapy

Lindsay Lohan To Open Rehab Center As Alternative Jail Therapy

by | 16th, July 2010

LINDSAY Lohan is to open a chain of rehab centres, says Dina Lohan, her mum.

And that’s good news because her latest lawyer, one Robert Shapiro, is the owner of his own rehab clinic, the Pickford Lofts centre. It’s not rehab, Lindsay it’s a business trip.

But maybe, just maybe, if Lohan can show how much she cares about being clean the judge might reduced her 90-day jail sentence?

Cynics might say that Lohan is lokking and getting cleaner so that the jail hooch and narcotics pack  a bigger punch. But that would be cruel and wrong. Lohan is in rehab voluntarily.

But what is she does go jail? Lohan’s mother Dina Lohan, the white people’s answer to Oprah, has a few words to the wise and a marketing plan:

How does Lindsay feel about going to jail?
When the decision came down, it was horrific. We hugged and cried a lot. But we’re optimists. Lindsay is sober and she’s fine. I don’t want to speak hypothetically [about jail] because she’s not going to be in that situation.

The rehab is a ploy to showcase her caring and so dodge a jail term – because a five-star treatment centre is the same as jail, right?

But the judge says she has to be in jail by July 20.
We’re taking it one day at a time. I don’t know what the outcome will be.

Anyone want to guess?

What have you said to your other children about Lindsay going to jail?
I don’t have to tell them anything. My son is 22 and graduated summa cum laude and he knows. My other son is 14 and he’s out on the lacrosse field getting ridiculed. Ali is in school with these girls being mean to her because of this situation. It’s not easy being us.

Jail may be the only way out.

When people say, “What did you do for her, Dina?”, how do you respond?
She went to rehab before the court ordered her. When I put my daughter in rehab, I knew she needed it. In 2007 — not currently.

Rehab has a revolving door.

Is Lindsay 100 percent sober now?
Yes. […]

Can you be less than 100% sober?

What are Lindsay’s goals for the future?
Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here [in LA] and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.

The Lindsay iohan Rehab Center will have bars painted on the window blinds, only three kinds of grapefruit and no drugs unless they are absolutely necessary. Here’s Lohan getting into the swing of rehab by taking her bra off:


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Posted: 16th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink