Anorak News | They Might Be Raoul Moat 2: Dennis Cannon Auditions For Laughs

They Might Be Raoul Moat 2: Dennis Cannon Auditions For Laughs

by | 21st, July 2010

IT’S not Derrick Bird who’s the benchmark of tabloid killers – it’s Raoul Moat. We’ve already met They Might Be Raoul Moat 1: Mark Osler. They Might be Raoul Moat 2 is Dennis Cannon – the ‘Hosepipe Maniac’.

The tabloids lust for more blood takes us into the world of would-be Moat Number 2 who “was caged for six years yesterday for savagely beating ex-girlfriend Diane Perry before trying to kill her and himself by fixing a hose to his car’s exhaust pipe”.

Given the frequency of such violent episodes in life, the tabloids will continue promoting Moat’s legacy until some other nutcase kills and maims. For a short while Derrick Bird was the nom-de-gore. Now it is Moat who operates as the tabloids’ benchmark of blood.

The report tells us:

But mum-of-two Diane, 38, is convinced Cannon will attack her again when he is freed. In an exclusive interview with the Record last night, she wept: “As far as Denis was concerned, I had finished with him so I had to be dead.”

She then apparently, delivers a line that must have had our writer Charlie Gall smacking his chops:

“It has chilling echoes of the Raoul Moat rampage. I was meant to be dead. He’s not going to forget.”

Raoul Moat is now part of the public consciousness, so much so that even when in fear of your own life being taken you think not of your would-be killer’s name but of Mad Moat.

Says Mr Gall:

Moat tried to murder ex-girlfriend Sam Stobbart with a shotgun just two days after a jail term for assault. He also murdered Sam’s new boyfriend Chris Brown and blinded policeman David Rathband before killing himself a week later after a stand-off with armed police.

Cannon did none of those things. But he might have…

As for this story… Well, it contains a line which posses a gory comic value:

Cannon smashed Diane’s phone so she couldn’t call for help, then broke her ribs and kicked her teeth out in a frenzy of violence. He then ran a garden hose from the exhaust pipe of his Audi, planning to kill both himself and his victim with carbon monoxide fumes.


The High Court heard that Diane only survived because of the car’s catalytic converter, and because she managed to open an air vent. Cannon, of Brechin, finally gave up and drove Diane home, saying: “This German car ain’t gonna kill us.”

Moat was never that funny…


Picture 1 of 21

Flowers outside the home of Raoul Moat in Fenham, Newcastle, following his death in the early hours of this morning.

Posted: 21st, July 2010 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink