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Abbey Clancy’s Bikini Therapy Remedy For Crouch’s Mint Sauce

by | 10th, August 2010

ABBEY Clancy gets to be on the front page of the Star and Mirror following allegations that her fiance, the tall footballer Peter Crouch, shagged Algerian prostitute Monica Mint and attempted to execute a salsa dance in full view of the Madrid public.

While we wrestle with a joke about a footballer forgoing the spit roast and going straight for the Mint sauce, we have a quick look at a past interview with Crouch:

REPORTER: “What would you be if you weren’t a footballer?”
PETER CROUCH: “A virgin.”

Peter Crouch – The Clockwork Lamp-Post Years

Crouch has a sense of humour. But how will this story develop?

The smart money is on Clancy heading off to somewhere hot to consider her options, preferably while clad in a tight bikini. She will then tell all in a Sunday tabloid and give her Crouchy one last chance.

The Star says Clancy has turned in her hour of need to that Suffragette of her era, Toni Terry, wife to alleged serial shagger John Terry.

Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover – in NSFW pictures
Alicia Douvall (NSFW)
Lauren Pope (NSFW)

The Daily Mirror has Clancy asking:

“HOW MANY MORE?”

Well, asking Toni is a good place to begin your research. After Terry’s husband’s sex stories hit the papers, she’s must be pretty au fait with every strumpet out there.

In other news, the Sun’s Charlotte Martin wonders:

Why are so many gorgeous women getting cheated on? First the nation’s sweetheart Cheryl Cole is wronged by husband Ashley Cole when he played away with blonde hairdresser Aimee Walton. Then ex-England skipper John Terry had an affair with lingerie model Vanessa Perroncel behind wife Toni’s back.

Don’t bother with a heated debate. Martin’s got an expert on speed dial:

Chartered Psychologist Colin Gill says it’s a complicated issue.

And you thought it was just sex…

Day 1: Peter Crouch’s ‘Horizontal Salsa’ With Hooker Monica Mint: Abbey Clancy And Photos

Day 2: What Really Happened When Peter Crouch Met Monica Mint

abbey-clancy-bikini-pepsi-1

Picture 1 of 10



Posted: 10th, August 2010 | In: Sports Comments (6) | TrackBack | Permalink