Anorak News | The Top Ten Jokes At This Year’s Edinburgh Festival

The Top Ten Jokes At This Year’s Edinburgh Festival

by | 23rd, August 2010

THE Ten Funniest Jokes at this year’s Edinburgh Festival are – and if you are looking for ‘Fringe material”, know that this stuff is as edgy as your mum’s pelmet tassels. The Edinburgh Fringe is where everyone you ever hated ends up in search of their community:

“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again” – Tim Vine

“I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone” – Dave Gibson

“I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them” – Emo Philips

“I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid” – Jack Whitehall

“As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog” – Gary Delaney

“Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day” – John Bishop

“What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names” – Bo Burnham

“Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted” – Gary Delaney

“For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty” – Robert White

“Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can’t be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…” – Gareth Richards

Other jokes in the Dave TV press release:

“Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side” – Sara Pascoe

“You know city-centre beat officers… Well are they police who rap?” -Sean Hughes

“I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them” – Emo Phillips


Picture 1 of 17

A street performer on the Royal Miles in Edinburgh, during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Posted: 23rd, August 2010 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink