Anorak News | Who Cares If Pakistan And England Cheat At Cricket So Long As We Get Served At The Bar?

Who Cares If Pakistan And England Cheat At Cricket So Long As We Get Served At The Bar?

by | 20th, September 2010

PAKISTAN cheat at cricket, allegedly, – and it is the biggest sports scandal ever! But – what’s this? – Pakistan say England cheat at cricket, which makes it the biggest sports scandal ever*. Things more fast in cricket.

(* Unless a footballer shags a prostitute, in which it’s demoted.)

The England team says the accusations from the Pakistan Cricket Board chairman are “wholly irresponsible” and “defamatory“.

Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chairman Mr Ijaz Butt (serious name for a serious man) tells people in his homeland tuning in to watch the cricket news on the telly:

“There is loud and clear talk in bookie circles that some English players have taken enormous amounts of money to lose the match [the third ODI]. No wonder there was such a collapse.”

England lost by 23 runs. And Butt ups the stakes. Pakistan are accused of cheating by tossing a ball or two the wrong way. England are accused of throwing away an entire match. Pakistan hide Osama bin Laden. Hitler runs Melton Mowbray parish council. And so on..

Oh, and Pakistan are innocent. Butt says it’s all “a conspiracy to defraud and defame the Pakistan team“.

You may wonder why another would bother to conspire against Pakistan. Tell us that Ricky Ponting’s all-conquering Australia were cheating and we’d be amazed. Tell us Pakistan cheat and we shrug.

Anyhow, it’s good stuff. And hard cheese on the NoTW which led with a big money sting to expose the alleged cheating at the heart of Pakistani cricket. All you need do is get a man in a position of authority to point the finger. Butt has provided no names, no evidence, no bookmaker on a video and no proof. But who needs it? The story is out there. And the story is everything.

As Anorak told you at the start, the story of cricket’s great shame was a small event. All the players accused will be cleared and play again for Pakistan. Things will carry on regaldess.

You see, cricket is not a sport people care about. The scandal is just something else for the fans to chat over between overs, pints and crossword clues…

Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Sports Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink