Anorak News | Santa Bans Fat Children From Sitting On His Knees

Santa Bans Fat Children From Sitting On His Knees

by | 28th, November 2011

YOUR child is not allowed to sit on Father Christmas’ knee.

The Criminal Records Bureau has decreed:

“Under no circumstances must a volunteer who has not obtained a CRB disclosure … be left unsupervised with children.”

Russell Hobby, the general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers, tells the Telegraph:

“The climate we work in, and the risks of getting it wrong, mean many school leaders err on the side of caution. And if you are going to ‘err’ I think that’s the side most parents would prefer.”

A spokesman for the Department for Education adds:

“Santas in schools should be treated in the same way that other visitors to the school are managed. Our guidance recommends that for such visitors a member of staff is present.”

Given the girth of the average child, Santa must be relieved that his poor old knees are not going to be ground to a pulp by a platoon of tubby kids tucking him up for a gift. Indeed, Anorak expects this fat-hating Government to go further and add an RSPV to all children’s wish list sent to Santa stating that only children in the approved BMI range get any gifts at all…


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Posted: 28th, November 2011 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink