Anorak News | Who is the Eltham lift shitter?

Who is the Eltham lift shitter?

by | 3rd, April 2012

DO you know the Eltham lift bespoiler, the shadowy figure who poos, vomits and wees in lifts “on an almost daily basis this year” in two lifts on Soweby Close?

One man can poo, wee and vomit at the same sitting every day of the year? Stake out the local takeaways and looks out anyone using a loyalty card.

The News Shopper says “Greenwich Council has blamed the mess on a dog”.

A dog who takes the lift?

“…but at a meeting last week, calls were made for forensic tests on the poo, which residents are confident will prove it is manmade”.

Oh, for those pre-CSI days when dogs shat out white poo.

Local man Terry Liddle tells the paper:

“If it’s a dog it must have incredibly large bowels and a very large bladder. People go out for an evening, get bladdered and, when they get in the lift, deliberately or otherwise, lose control of their bodily functions and let fly.”

Every day? And it’s happened before:

Mr Liddle has kicked up a stink with a 20-signature petition calling for a covert camera, similar to one used three years ago when the block faced a similar problem.

Greenwich Council Cabinet member for housing Councillor Steve Offord has the final word:

“I’d encourage residents to share any information they have with us and that can be in the strictest confidence.”

Or if you can find any paper and ‘ink’, write in…

Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink