Anorak News | Woman has 50 Shades of Gray triplets orgasm

Woman has 50 Shades of Gray triplets orgasm

by | 5th, July 2012

50 Shades of Grey is the subject of an article by Yahoo! that epitomises modern journalism. All you need do to write an article is:

* Pick a popular topic with good keyword results
* Get an expert to offer a quote
* Make a claim

The bullshitter tells readers:

Best selling romance tale 50 Shades of Grey is being touted as the cause of a spate of pregnancies, according to an expert in culture. 

Packed with erotic scenes and ideas, the story of Anastasia Steele and the eponymous Grey has got broody wives and girlfriends so hot under the collar they are seeking out more sex with their partners, resulting in an increasing number of potential pregnancies.

Increased number of potential pregnancies. Can Yahoo be more vague?

Professor Ellis Cashmore, expert in Culture at Staffordshire University, predicts a spike in the number of newborns next year as a result of the book. He said: “With the millions of copies it has sold it makes complete sense to assume that in nine months’ time we are going see a baby boom.”

Right now million of women are shagging several shades of colour from their lover’s sallow cheeks. But hold on a moment. What does author EL James says of all that baby-making in her book? Teenagers will discover that you can get pregnancy by using condoms, masturbating and oral sex.

Baby 1: “Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?”

Baby 2: “I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”

It’s Triplets! “He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me. My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I’m brought back from the brink … I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him … then I’m building again … I climax anew, calling out his name.”

Experts agree…

Posted: 5th, July 2012 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink