Anorak News | On diamonds and other jewels of divine semen

On diamonds and other jewels of divine semen

by | 30th, December 2012

ABOUT that Cartier diamond necklace and rare orchid you were given for Christmas, Jennifer Ouellette has pearls of wisdom:

In ancient China, most gemstones were said to be drops of divine semen that had hardened after fertilizing the earth. For instance, jade was believed to be the dried semen of celestial dragons. (Note to self: never wear jade again.) In Chi Kung and other forms of Chinese medicine, “jing” is sexual energy, which can also denote “essence” or “spirit.” That’s why masturbation isn’t advised among Chi Kung practitioners: it’s a form of energy suicide. … 

If you buy diamonds for lovers you may never need masturbate again…

Note: If you get rubies in your discharge, see a doctor.

Image: A pearl necklace for $420 at the Leah Piepgras Gallery and is an “accurate representation of semen”.

Posted: 30th, December 2012 | In: The Consumer Comment | TrackBack | Permalink