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Anorak News | John Lennon arrested for murder in Brazil and other letters of note

John Lennon arrested for murder in Brazil and other letters of note

by | 6th, February 2013

TO Belo Horizonte, Brazil, where police have arrested three suspected criminals named John Lennon. It’s testament of Lennon’s enduring popularity that John Lennon Ribeiro Siqueira, arrested for plotting to rob a lottery agency, is just 19.
Suspected burglar John Lennon Fonseca Ferreira is 22. Suspected five-time killer John Lenon Camargos Gomes is also 22.

The youngest John Lennon is John Lennon Sebastiao da Silva, 18, whose body was found in the back seat of a car.

Police suspect foul play, and are rounding up all the city’s Marc Chapmans, he being the killer who shot John Lennon dead in New York. They might also round up the Yoko Onos and lock them in a sealed bunker, just in case.

So popular is Lennon, The Beatles chief cynic, that you can buy a book of his letters. Not letter to heads of state. Letters like this:

Letter 271: Domestic list, 23 May 1980
1. Nail polish remover.
2. Cat food: (back to variations) including ‘Tender Vittles’
3. Corn on cob
4. Spinach
5. Milk

Another letter has Lennon saying:

Dear Laundry, MRS YOKO ONO LENNON DOES NOT, WILL NOT, HAS NOT DYED HER HAIR. SHE DOES NOT SWEAT (MOST ORIENTALS DO NOT SWEAT LIKE US)

‘WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE FOR TURNING MY BRAND NEW WHITE SHIRT YELLOW?’

If that trite stuff can be sold in a book, you get an idea of how far the Beatles have come from their roots. They are a band glossed and varnished to look more like an ensemble of State-decreed working-class heroes than a largely middle-class foursome who carved up a baby and got off their faces.

In 2012, a £15,000 necklace, containing part of one of John Lennon’s teeth (the tooth was sold in an auction for £19,000 in 2011) began a “tour” of dental practices in the UK to promote awareness of oral cancer.

Of course, this would have been what Lennon would have wanted. Just as he would have wanted to have been the first name new mothers thought of when giving birth.



Posted: 6th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink