Anorak News | Rabbits invade airport as animals continue quest to rule Earth

Rabbits invade airport as animals continue quest to rule Earth

by | 26th, February 2013

AGAIN, the Anorak stands alone as the only publication willing to tell you the truth about animals and their dead-eyed quest to overthrow mankind. You’ve read Animal Farm (nothing to do with that dubious film of the same name)? Then you’ll know what these awful beasts are capable of.

Regular readers will know we’ve had human-hating badgers, a whale trying to kill a canoe filled with people, chimps watching human bongo films, deer rampaging through our streets and fish crawling around on land TRYING TO KILL THINGS.

And so, the latest from the frontline in the war against humans sees rabbits belying their cuteness and invading a Denver airport like they’re zombies or something.

Officials have, rightly, been removing up to 100 rabbits from the area every month as they are causing huge amounts of dollars worth of damage, chewing through wires, making things break and probably swearing at widows.

Despite this, the rabbits continue to be a nuisance, like a small furry biker ganger or something.

Wiley Faris (what a name!), a spokesman for the nearby Arapahoe Autotek repair centre, said:

“They come to the recently driven cars for warmth, and once they’re there, they find that many of the materials used for coating ignition cables are soy-based, and the rabbits find that quite tasty.”

Officials are currently looking at ways to stop the problem. One solution is to build a massive fence. Another is much more grisly, involving building perches for hawks and eagles so they can have their wicked way with our buck-toothed foes (that’s asking for trouble though because, if the rabbits and hawks team up, humans are definitely done for).

Failing that, Wiley wants to cover everything in fox piss. Faris explains:

“We have found a good deterrent is predator urine, you can pick up fox urine at any pro hunting shop.”

The animals. They’re out to get us.

Posted: 26th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink