Anorak News | Four Girls One Cup: Missouri High School girls test their aims

Four Girls One Cup: Missouri High School girls test their aims

by | 30th, March 2013

urine missouri school

WHEN Monett High School girls’ basketball team took on the ladies of Cassville High School in southwest Missouri, the Cassville players poured a cup of urine into a water cooler used by Monett players.

A letter to Monett parents said that four Cassville players urinated into one cup. But, oddly, only one player’s urine was selected to be tipped into the water cooler. What happend to the other urine? Did it not meet exacting standards? Did it contain traces of illicit and misused drugs?

Cassville school leaders have apologised and the miscreants ticked off.

And, what with his being America, Monett school administrators add:

“Our understanding at this time is that the individual whose urine was used will be undergoing tests to determine if any health risks are present. We will pass along any information we receive.”


“We are asking you, as parents, to help us work with our girls and their friends to handle this situation with professionalism and restraint. We understand that all of us in Monett are angered and frustrated by this occurrence and the amount of time before the incident came to light. We encourage you to support our stance that retaliation in any way stoops to the level of the offense committed against us and is counter productive. Our goal is to work through any lingering issues and put this incident behind us quickly.”

Pour the water onto a pregnancy test kit and send the ‘results’ to Cassville, who should hold an emergency assembly on the dangers of falling pregnant. Call the event Four Girls One Cup. It’ll be a sensation.

Posted: 30th, March 2013 | In: Sports Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink