Anorak News | Man comes up with fabulous excuse for being with a prostitute

Man comes up with fabulous excuse for being with a prostitute

by | 8th, August 2013

tom sex

IMAGINE, for a minute, you’re caught with a prostitute. You suddenly need an excuse and your brain kicks into gear. What would you say? ‘Actually, I’m conducting a questionnaire about sex-workers for a national newspaper and there’s nothing funny going on here.’ Or maybe ‘I hear a female voice in distress and came to see what the noise was about… and there’s nothing funny going on here’.

Or even: ‘I thought it was Russell Howard, so obviously, there’s absolutely nothing bordering on funny going on here’.

Well, one fella told the police that he was with a prostitute… because she was selling him tomatoes.

The thicko from Dudley (nb: It is mandatory to say ‘Dudley’ in a comedy Midlands accent) was followed by police after they spotted the sex worker waiting for him in his Nissan Micra.

Obviously, he was then stopped and arrested on suspicion of soliciting.

However, the married security guard refuted the allegations, claiming that he was withdrawing £20 from the cashpoint so he could buy tomatoes.

PC Stacey Paterson of Walsall police said: “I’ve heard some excuses before but in the ten years that I have been a police officer I have never heard a kerb crawler covering up his crimes by claiming to be buying tomatoes.”

“Our officers and the courts saw through his lies and the man has now been found guilty.”

Posted: 8th, August 2013 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink