Anorak News | Maths offers absolute proof that Zombies don’t exist

Maths offers absolute proof that Zombies don’t exist

by | 14th, August 2013

A couple pose together, dressed as zombies attend the Zombie Walk in Belgrade, Serbia, on Saturday, Oct. 20, 2012. (AP Photo/Darko Vojinovic)

AN interesting little piece of mathematics here which should be, but isn’t, used to show that zombies cannot possibly exist. The point being that they show that there’s no stable equilibrium: there’s no way to have there be some zombies without all becoming zombies:

A Canadian mathematician believes only frequent coordinated attacks against the living dead can save the human race.

A mathematical calculation by a professor at the University of Ottawa – (bN)(S/N)Z = bSZ – describes the rate that humans would become zombies as they are gradually infected by the living dead.

The maths might seem bizarre, but it can be used to model the spread of disease in the modern world.

Yes, it can indeed be used to show how viruses spread but that’s the boring part of it. The thing is that if there is a zombie, who then infects someone else (a vital part of zombieism) then that infection will simply run right through the human race and thus we’ll all be zombies. Which, given that we’re not all zombies must mean that zombies do not at present exist.

Hurrah! etc.

The same mathematical technique has been used in the past to show that vampires cannot exist as well. If they did we’d all be vampires and as we’re not they don’t.

Posted: 14th, August 2013 | In: Money Comment | TrackBack | Permalink