Anorak News | Small balls mean you’ll be a good father. Obviously

Small balls mean you’ll be a good father. Obviously

by | 11th, September 2013

good dadTHIS might come as a surprise to some, that having small balls and a low testosterone level will mean that you’ll be a better father. But this is an obvious result of the economics of the mating game. A blindingly obvious one in fact.

Anthropologists at Emory University found that men with smaller testes were more likely to be directly involved in the care of their toddlers. Smaller testes also correlated with more nurturing-related brain activity.

Gary Becker’s Nobel for Economics was in part gained because he pointed out that mating, the creation of children, is a market very like any other. Women can have some small number of children in their life, it’s a process requiring a great deal of investment from them. Men can sow their seed with wild abandon and have many children. Well, if the birds will let them that is. And that’s where this idea about testosterone (very closely linked to testicle size) comes in.

For the point of the whole game is to have as many and the best grandchildren that one can. But, but, for the women there are two routes to having this most and best. They can have children with the genetically best they can find but who don’t stick around to raise the kids or they can have them with genetically worse blokes who do stick around.

And in this definition high testosterone males are, by definition, those genetically better ones. The other way we sometimes describe them is as the alpha males. They get laid a lot more easily and more often than us beta males. Which leads to the only useful strategy that we beta males can employ. We need to perceptibly commit to being around for the kids, to being that good and caring father, before we get to have the nookie that leads to the creation of the kids. And that’s what’s going on here. Yup, lower testosterone does lead to more caring behaviour by those small balled men. Because that’s the only way we get laid in order to have kids.

Posted: 11th, September 2013 | In: Money, Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink