Anorak News | Jimmy Savile Stars In Junior School Play

Jimmy Savile Stars In Junior School Play

by | 25th, June 2014



THE young students at Scargill School in Rainham, east London, are rehearsing for the end-of-year show Lights, Camera, Action!. We join the action as the school caretaker cahracter, a Mr Jim Fixit arrives. He is, as the notes sugegst, “ready for any challenge.”

He produces a letter. He reads:

“Dear Jim, could you please find time to retrieve my sixteen footballs from the roof of the school hall.”

Sixteen’s a bit too high for Jim, who prefers the younger numbers.

The choir then bursts into song:

 “He’s a real superhero, bet he’d look really good in tights.”

His. Yours. Mine. Hers. Anyone’s.

One mother has seen enough:

“My son came home from school with the script and said ‘Mummy, should I be singing about Jimmy Savile? I said ‘what?’. I think it is completely disgusting – I do not want him to be a part of it. The school bought the script from a production company which adapts plays for primary schools but not one of his teachers picked up on it.”

The school send sout a texty alert:

“URGENT MESSAGE. We would like to RECALL all of the year 6 play scripts as soon as possible.”

Sire Jimmy Savile, the alleged predatory paedophile, now covered in tons of dirt in a deep grave, must be erased.

Head teacher Amanda Ireland tells the Standard:

“…because it is an older play the matter of one of the characters, in light of what has happened recently, is inappropriate. The whole idea was children would go to the character and he would fix their problems. We have not had time yet to decide on a new play because it all blew up. We are trying to make it right as quickly as we can.”

It’d be hard to teach the young pupils new lines, build new sets and rehearse new songs. Better to adapt the play to the changing times. When Jimmy coems out, why not have the children scream “PEADO!” and beat him to death with sticks before marching on the BBC and razing the place to the ground. A man representing the Royal Family will then produce a gold pocket watch and entrance the crowd to forget eveything they’ve seen.

Mums and dads will love it.


Posted: 25th, June 2014 | In: Celebrities, Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink