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Anorak News | Killer Nazi Child-Eating Rats Take Over Britain: The tale Of The Daily Star’s Toothy Shockers

Killer Nazi Child-Eating Rats Take Over Britain: The tale Of The Daily Star’s Toothy Shockers

by | 27th, June 2014

THE Country is in fear of “Monster Rats As Big As Cows”.

 

cows

 

 

Cows are pretty big.

bull

 

The Star has more:

AN INVINCIBLE army of disease-ridden killer rats the size of cattle are set to terrorise Britain, scientists warned yesterday.

Go on…

Leicester University scientist Dr Jan Zalasiewicz said: “Given enough time, rats could probably grow to be at least as large as the capybara, the world’s largest rodent, that lives today, that can reach 80 kilos.”

Of course, given enough time, apes could build a replcia of the Statue of Liberty.

 

apes

 

 

This rat scare story comes in a long line of ratty news in the Star.

These rats are killers.

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.47.53

 

 

 

They were coming not two-by-two to escape the rains. They were coming in swamrs though your windows and doors:

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.38.51

 

 

 

How big were these giants?

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.42.25

 

 

 

Sheep?

Awwww…

 

 

images (5)

 

 

Cows? Sheep? One thing for certain. The rats were coming!

 

ratty

 

 

 

They were demolishing the country one brick at a time.

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.37.21

 

 

 

 

These gaint rats eat yer kids and bomb yer granny’s house:

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.45.34

 

 

 

These rats have no respect for rank and class:

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.38.13

 

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.48.35

 

 

 

Easter was going to be a time to plague.

 

 

eater rats

 

 

 

 

Come April, and the rats were getting closer…

 

 

rats

 

 

They were coming to get you…

 

 

 

They came for the first born!

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.41.33

 

 

 

But maybe the rats were on the side of the angels?

 

no-one was safe

 

 

And they could balance out the bran drain:

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.46.59

 

 

 

What to do?

Plan 1: EAT THEM! 

 

eat rats

 

 

 

PLAN 2: MILK THEM – LIKE COWS!

 

 

Screen shot 2014-06-27 at 10.44.59

 

 

But maybe it’s not the rats. Maybe it’s their jockeys:

 

 

fleas

 

 

FLEAS AS BIG AS LIONS!

 

 



Posted: 27th, June 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink