Anorak News | Renee Zellweger Has A Face: Let The Media Bitchfest Begin

Renee Zellweger Has A Face: Let The Media Bitchfest Begin

by | 23rd, October 2014

Renee Zellweger, left, and Doyle Bramhall II attend ELLE's 21st annual Women In Hollywood Awards at the Four Seasons Hotel on Monday, Oct. 20, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)

Renee Zellweger, left, and Doyle Bramhall II attend ELLE’s 21st annual Women In Hollywood Awards at the Four Seasons Hotel on Monday, Oct. 20, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)


RENEE Zellweger has a face. This sensation has been heralded in the news media.

In the Times, it;’s tlaking pioint. Carole Midgley says:

Shame on Renée Zellweger. Seriously: what is her problem? She has been a female on this Earth for 45 years now and that’s plenty long enough to have learnt the rules… You must at all times pull off the impossible. Got that? You must be a 24/7 magician. For whether you’re on the red carpet or putting out your bins, you must look eternally young and perfect.

But here’s the crucial thing: you must never betray any sign that you may have tried to make yourself look young and perfect. No, no, no. This won’t do at all. Trying is ugly; risible. Your age-defying beauty, perfect figure, line-free face and lustrous hair must appear effortless.

She refers to the “spite-filled headlines and comments”, the “massive bitch”, that Zellweger has been “pilloried and mocked”.

Did she look on Twitter, where Times columnist India Knight and the Guardian’s Hadley Freeman were commenting?


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The link takes readers to this:


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Those Times and Guardian’s editorial meetings should be interesting.

Jennifer Gerson Uffalussy writes in the Guardian:

“Where did Renee Zellweger’s face go?”

To ask a question like that, as so many did on Tuesday is to cut in all directions, commodifying a woman’s body even as you seemingly seek to champion it…

Yet one trope was notably absent from the Greek chorus of judgment decrying Zellweger’s physical appearance. In all the hand-wringing and all the awfulness aimed at Zellweger, nary but a few finger-pointers noted that, the public doesn’t just feel entitled to freely comment on celebrity bodies and faces. No, the same public that apparently believes Zellweger did something untoward to her greatest asset (which is, apparently, not her acting chops) is also busy gasping even more loudly should any woman dare to let a wrinkle, a glimmer of cellulite or a bravely untoned abdominal muscle besmirch her appearance…

And the famous women who do dare to age at all – and beautifully so – are breathlessly glorified as possessing a talent so exceptional – so perfect – that it allowed them to transcend their own decaying forms.


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In the Times, Leah Hardy writes:

It can be traumatic for people to lose familiar facial features such as large noses or hooded eyes, particularly later in life, even if they have hated them for decades…

Traumatic for her ot those who look at it?


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… if Zellweger has had an eye lift, there may have been other reasons. Hooded eyes like hers are undoubtedly attractive and typical of her Sami or Lapp heritage, inherited from her mother, who has Finnish and Norwegian ancestry. Morten Harket, the Norwegian lead singer of A-ha, shares Zellweger’s Sami ancestry and has similarly shaped eyes. The problem is that, with age, hooded eyes can fall further, and if the lid encroaches on the pupil it reduces the field of vision.

It’s not a face. It’s a chance for columnist to speculate on a woman’s health, career, state of mind and surgeons.

But above all Zellwegger’s face can risk your life. As Viv Groskop tells her readers in “It’s not unreasonable to ask where the real Renée Zellweger has gone”:

The ability to recognise a face is something we all take for granted; yet it is an extraordinary attribute, and one of the first we develop as a baby. It’s a life-saving skill: you learn through facial recognition to identify a) your parents (survival via the food source), and b) emotions (which tell you whether you’re safe or in danger).

Death by Zelleger! Let’s hope rolling your eyes is anti-ageing…


Posted: 23rd, October 2014 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink