Anorak News | Sheffield University hires students to work as thought police

Sheffield University hires students to work as thought police

by | 15th, January 2020

“Getting a job whilst at University is a great way to gain work experience and develop your employability skills,” says the University of Sheffield. So hands up which 20 students want to earn £9.34 per hour policing your peers?

The University of Sheffield will pay students to face down “microaggressions”. Come again? Tsk! Ignorance is no excuse. The university tells us they are “subtle but offensive comments”.

To help you understand better how you unwittingly caused offence and are at heart a racist, the job description features these examples of phrases that mark you out as bad:

“Stop making everything a race issue”
“Why are you searching for things to be offended about?”
“Where are you really from?”
“I don’t want to hear about your holiday to South Africa. It’s nowhere near where I’m from”
“Being compared to black celebrities that I look nothing like”

Telling on or correcting people who use such phrase will be “opening up a conversation”. Presumably, the 20 race champions will have to eavesdrop on chatter, have remarkably good hearing and be blessed with the right kind of thoughts.

It’s pretty easy to see what could go wrong. A misheard word, the nark’s own prejudices, or a comment taken out of context could create problems. Better no-one speaks. And if you could all curtail your sex lives to watching porn alone, so much the better. Here’s to a brighter tomorrow!

Posted: 15th, January 2020 | In: News Comment | TrackBack | Permalink