| Anorak

- Author Archive

author blurb missing....

's Recent posts:

Adopt A F***wit

HEAR, o Pete Doherty, the decrees and laws declared in your hearing today. Learn them and be sure to follow them. Pop f***wit Pete is the subject of the Star’s … (read more)

Posted: 16th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Jamie ‘F***ing’ Oliver

JAMIE Oliver is on the campaign trail. Jamie is “f***ing bored with being polite”. The world is in a terrible state. The time for action is now. Come one, Jamie. … (read more)

Posted: 8th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

He Shoots..!

PARIS Hilton is in town and the Sun catches up with the professional model/actress/singer/blonde. Paris is really getting into the swing of London life. But before she can stick a … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


“F***!” It’s Tourette’s Week Awareness Time on and we are entering into the spirit of the thing.

And we are not alone. Nikki is showing her support for the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

A $1m Gerbil

‘WHILE the stars of yesterday undergo surgery to look like they did back when they were famous and the stars of today backcomb their eyebrows, we wonder who we will … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Vote Bush/Bin Laden

‘IF Osama Bin Laden had a vote in tomorrow’s US Presidential election, he would no doubt vote for President Bush. ”My fellow Americans…” The incumbent president … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2004 | In: News | Comment

Aisle Be Damned

‘WE all knew far more than we ever wanted to know about John Leslie and Abi Titmuss days ago, but the Express is determined to flog the couple’s story to … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids | Comment


‘IS it just us or does Rod Stewart’s estranged wife Rachel Hunter look like she was created by a computer programme with a slight bug in the software?Rachel has made … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2003 | In: Reviews | Comment

Adopt A Wasp

‘THERE are organisations dedicated to the protection of most things – in fact, there is probably an organisation dedicated to the protection of organisations that protect things.’What with Prezza and … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

New Faces

‘ONE man who is finding it hard to change his image, if not his face, is Michael Jackson.Do you know this man who was out with Michael Jackson?The Enquirer says … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2003 | In: Reviews | Comment

Friday 13th – Lucky For Some

‘IT’S Friday 13th today, which – as the Mail kindly reminds us – is a harbinger of bad luck.A good day for being unlucky, unlucky, unluckyHaving said that, Mail-readers probably … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Clowning Around

‘WANT to look like a celebrity? Well, if you can’t afford the $400,000 the magazine says it took Demi Moore to look good at 40 then you can paper in … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Reviews | Comment

Little And Large

‘FEDERICO – he can’t manage to pedal a pedalo properly, he can’t tell the difference between the Cub Scout promise and the Cub Scout law…and now we learn he has … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Supreme Justice

‘HAD the Prime Minister decided not to abolish the role of Lord Chancellor yesterday and replace the outgoing Lord Irvine of Lairg with a new face, the smart money was … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Hals About That

‘AS Alan Milburn shows us, it’s time to tune in and drop out. And with no second invitation needed, that’s what Prince Harry is doing.How many A-levels do you think … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Rearguard Inaction

‘SVEN Goran Eriksson has an impressive record as manager of England in competitive fixtures, having lost just one match out of 18 – and that to the world champions.”Yours!”By rights, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment