Anorak

RIP Charlie the parrot, who died holding a pork scratching

Vale, Charlie, the African Grey parrot, who breathed his last at The Rising Sun in Kemsing, Kent, his home for 40 years. Says Charlie’s landlady Michele Hunter:
“He did all the things which were bad for him. … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 4th, April 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Arsenal balls: Ozil and Wenger fight over the towel

Arsenal are at “war”, says the Sun. The back page tells of team manager Arsene Wenger’s “fury with Ozil”. Can it be that the club’s best player and the vintage … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Transfer balls: Ozil joins Real Madrid and commits future to Arsenal

Transfer Balls: The Express says, “Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil will both sign new contracts at Arsenal in the summer.” Fact!

Ozil will get £180,000-a-week. Sanchez will get a raise on his … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Transfer balls: Manchester United fish for Everton ‘hero’ Barkley

Transfer balls: The Daily Star says “Manchester United are weighing up a £45m move for Everton’s Ross Barkley.”

Number of words to supports the claim: nil.

Aware that the story is thinner … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Madeleine McCann: six months more police work

The Sunday Express has set a deadline: “Six Months To Find Maddie.” And then..?

The paper says “the Home Office has set a budget for this year of just under £95,000, which … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, April 2016 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (2)

Liverpool: Morrisons knows shoppers don’t trust Scousers

Northern supermarket chain Morrisons thinks the Scouse accent is not good at selling its quality groceries. Casting Networks Inc was looking to recruit actors for a new Morrisons advert. They wanted “proper working … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, April 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Daily Mail Scare Story: cake contains sugar!

Siofra Brennan has news for Daily Mail readers: “Revealed: How ‘healthy’ high street breakfasts that contain MORE sugar than a can of cola – and as much fat as a … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Ken Clarke and an interrupting Paul Mason talk steel on BBC Newsnight

Former BBC staffer and Newsnight journalist Paul Mason and Tory MP Ken Clarke are talking about the steel industry on BBC Newsnight. The one thing you can’t escape noticing is how often … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2016 | In: Money, Politicians, Reviews | Comment

Glasgow Police threaten everyone on twitter

Glasgow police have issued a threat to everyone on twitter. If your tweet or Facebook post or online comment falls short of their guide, they will knock on your door … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 1st, April 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Daily Mail praises Ronnie Corbett with brilliant caption error

Ronnie Corbett has died. I think he’s probably laughing at this Daily Mail caption error right now.

… (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)

The world’s worst airline passenger

Any question posed in a headline can be answered ‘no’. The Metro’s Toby Meyjes asks: “Is this the worst airline passenger ever.”

No. The person in that pictured is not even … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Psychoactive Substances Act could ban sugar rushes

The ban on legal highs might be impossible. The Guardian says “the government’s blanket ban on legal highs that was due to come into effect on 6 April has been postponed … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Manchester United balls: Mourinho tears up agreement to join Valencia

Cancel the Jose Mourinho Manchester United scarf. News is that the former Chelsea manager is off to coach Valencia. The Sun tells us as much:
Exclusive: SunSport understands serious discussions have … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer balls: Arsenal buy Aubameyang, Kroos and Stones to cheer Wenger off

The Daily Mirror says Arsenal will not be waving adieu to their manager:
Arsenal’s Arsene Wenger plans to buy and buy not say ‘Bye-bye!’ this summer
Out got: Tomas Rosicky, Kieran Gibbs, … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Arsenal balls: Arda Turan buries in a shallow grave in Barcelona

The Daily Telegraph has been talking up its new content management system. It’s now quicker than ever for the once mighty paper to trot out balls. The headline seduces Arsenal fans:
Arda … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Former BBC Radio DJ in social media horror

Local News of the Day deals with a social media nasty. The Mid Devon Gazette tells us:
Twitter profile slates BBC Radio Devon presenter and Butterleigh resident Simon Bates
Adding:
A TWITTER account … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

‘Shocking THIGH GAP jewellery’ gives women dicks

The Mail says Soo Kyung Bae has created “shocking THIGH GAP jewellery to highlight women’s ‘unhealthy obsession’ with super-skinny legs”.

Er, no, Daily Mail. Hanging a long pendant between a woman’s legs make … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Photo of the year: fake suicide belt hijacker poses for photos with Aberdeen man

Click! Aberdeen man Ben Innes, 26, poses for a photo with a hijacker who used a fake suicide belt to take control of an Egyptian plane and hold him hostage.
An Egyptian … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

More TV repeats: Vernon Kaye and Rhian Sugden sexting ‘shame’

Vernon Kaye is the bland, too-tall presenter of bland TV shows. He’s in the news. OK! magazine says:
Who is Rhian Sugdon? Everything we know about glamour model accused of texting … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2016 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Adam Johnson joins prison’s Crazy Gang

Can we rejoice in the news that “Footie paedo Adam Johnson ‘faces bloody razor torture’ in prison showers”? The Sun has heard that prisoners want to scar Johnson, the former Sunderland and … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Uber driver rips off drunk driver; proves Uber is winning

Going the pretty way, sir?
An Uber driver charged a drunk passenger £102.17 for a journey, after taking him on a 20-mile detour around London while he slept.

Daniel Kaizen ordered a … (read more)

Anorak

Posted: 29th, March 2016 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment