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Premiership Wages Hit £1billion

WHAT a hard life those footballers have – the adulation, the glamour, a never-ending supply of orange woman, and of course the massive pay packet.

According to a new report from … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment

ANGELINA Jolie has “HIDDEN RAGE!”.

Such is the media interest in Jolie it’s hard to think she has hidden anything. But the Enquirer has unearthed a secret.

And reading on we learn … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment (1)

Maria Sharapova’s Grunt

EOOUGH!

Hark. Do you hear? Why, it’s the first stains of female tennis players striking ball with bat.

PHWOAARR!

And the Mail spots one blonde player. It’s “Russian beauty” Maria Sharapova. Now that … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment

Big Brother’s Carole Vincent

Name: CAROLE
Age: 53 years
From: London
Occupation: Young people’s sexual health and HIV worker – unemployed
Status: Single

“I am gonna shake it something rotten and they will be shaking s***less. If people want … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (38)

Big Brother’s Nicky Maxwell

Name: NICKY
Age: 27
From: Watford
Occupation: Accounts Executive in a bank
Status: Single

“People seem confused about my identity – I’m not confused. It would be nice to explain to everyone, once and for … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (75)

Big Brother’s Laura Williams

Name: LAURA
Age: 23
From: South Wales
Occupation: Nanny
Status: Single

“I talk too fast, I talk too much … I’ve always got something to say”

Big Brother Career: Hanging basket.

Walk on part in Little Britian.

Celebrity … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (57)

Big Brother’s Emily Parr

Name: Emily
Age: 19
From: Bristol
Occupation: Student
Status: Single

Motto: “I don’t do losing. I win. Team Emily”

BB exit: Emily Parr Is Evicted From Big Brother For Calling Charley A ‘Nigger’

BB achievement: Inventing skinny … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (283)

Big Brother’s Shabnam Paryani

Name: SHABNAM
Age: 22
From: North London
Occupation: Temp receptionist
Status: Single

“I am an enigma, I’m striking in my presence. People love to talk to me and are drawn to me.”

Big Brother Career: Robbie … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (176)

Big Brother’s Chanelle Hayes

Name: CHANELLE
Age: 19
From: Wakefield
Occupation: Student
Status: Single

“I would either like to be famous and rich… or a speech therapist in Spain”

Big Brother Career: Misspelt tattoo. Huge new Spanish onion-styled breasts. Trapped … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (197)

Big Brother’s Tracey Barnard

Name: TRACEY
Age: 36
From: Cambridgeshire
Occupation: Cleaner
Status: Single

“I’m a raver, man – I’m a cheesy quaver…I buzz off anything and any one.”
A self-styled hippy raver from a small village in Cambridgeshire, Tracey … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (81)

Big Brother’s Charley Uchea

Name: CHARLEY
Age: 21
From: South London
Occupation: Unemployed
Status: Single

“I’m trendy, I’m wild, argumentative – I speak so much. I’m flirtatious and I’m hot.”

Big Brother Career: Victim of racist abuse. Jim Davidson fan, … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (621)

Big Brother’s Lesley Brain

Name: LESLEY
Age: 60
From: Gloucestershire
Occupation: Retired headhunter
Status: Married – with two children and two grandchildren

The British public will either love me or hate me – either way they’ll want to keep … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (15)

Sam And Amanda Marchant

Name: SAM AND AMANDA (Twins)
Age: 18
From: Newcastle
Occupation: Students
Status: Both single

“If there’s only one fit boy in the house we’ll share him, definitely! He’ll never know the … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (310)

Ken Russell’s Brand Of Slippers

CELEBRITY Big Brother survivor Ken Russell delivered the show’s greatest ever parting line: “I’ve left my slippers underneath the chaise longue.” Now Ken is to be interviewed on stage at … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Big Brother Diary: Danielle Lloyd’s Thursday…

MORE from Big Brother bully Danielle Lloyd. Still in Florida with her footballer, Danielle (it’s Thursday so it’s the pink bikini) tells us: “Marcus has been taking in a lot … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Property Boom Hits Cannabis Factories

THERE are many obvious consequences of the current property boom, from unfeasibly enormous mortgages to the unfeasibly large amount of hatred one may have for property developers.

However, a negative effect … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Money | Comments (5)

Manchester City’s Ray Ranson Of Light

IT was to be a match made in footballing heaven – former star turned millionaire entrepreneur taking control of the club where he made his name.

But after months of protracted … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Money | Comment

By George – It Asda Be A School Uniform For A Tenner!

ONCE upon a time, celebrities wouldn’t be seen dead in cheap and cheerful high-street rags. But with everyone from Beyonce to Kylie embracing the likes of Top Shop and H&M, … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Money | Comment

Paramedic Jailed For Robbing From The Dead

WHICH is worse – stealing from the living or stealing from the dead? Whatever the answer, one doubts whether paramedic David Wright was embroiled in an internal ethical debate when … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Strange But True | Comment

It’s Not A Wonderful Standard Life

EXECUTIVES attending Standard Life’s first annual meeting as a listed company were met by fierce criticism from staff and unions, not to mention a man in a cat suit.

The protesters … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Money | Comment

Big Brother Look-Alikes: Tracey Is…Tony Adams

TRACEY is “avinit”. She’s a cleaner in tune with the vapours of her products.

And she looks just like Tony Adams, the old England and Arsenal captain. This is her… … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)

Big Brother 8 – Davina McCall’s Location Location Location

Is she still talking? It’s the start of the show. And all we have is Davina. And more Davina. She’s showing us round the house. Any moment now someone’s going … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

China Colonises Africa

REMEMBER when the West owned Africa? Well, it’s their turn now…
China is conquering Africa as it becomes the preferred trading partner of the continent’s dictators. Beijing is buying up Africa’s … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Vote Now And Vote Often Says Hazel Blears

HAZEL Blears’ campaign for the deputy leadership of the Labour Party is moving on.

Dizzy spots something interesting:
From Hazel Blears Campaign Team to all her Facebook friends.

“Remember if you’re a member … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Spellbound: Spell P-U-S-H-Y

THE American Spelling Bee is underway. Throwing things is blogging o-n i-t… Spell “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis” – you never know when you might need to… … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

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