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Big Brother Uncut, Or Cut

PSST! Wanna buy a dirty DVD?

It’s got the lot, this one.

There’s this bald Brummie getting a blow-job, a black lesbian bodybuilder picking her nose in bed, a fat red-faced sweaty … (read more)

Posted: 16th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Britney’s New Musical Wave

BRITNEY Spears sucks on a red lollypop.

Who loves you baby, might read the caption as we learn of lovelorn Britney’s latest exploits.

“Pukes I did it again..on my boyfriend,” says the … (read more)

Posted: 16th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


French Bulldog

“ALLO, HELLO,” says the headline.

The Sun wonders what life would have been like had Great Britain and France been united under a common crown.

It could have happened. Records in the … (read more)

Posted: 16th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Beckhams’ Retreat

ON a recent tour of America, Real Madrid players David Beckham and Roberto Carlos, the Brazilian footballer, marvelled at how they could walk about the place unmolested.

Perhaps America would offer … (read more)

Posted: 15th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Kelly (Osbourne’s) Hero

EVER since The Osbournes vibrated onto our screens, the family has been as exclusive as teenage acne.

But still the Sun boats of an “EXCLUSIVE” interview with Kelly Osbourne.

“Mum said, ‘I … (read more)

Posted: 15th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Water Logged

KATE Moss should not be too hard on her lover.
When they’re not ensuring a good night out for young royalty, the boys in blue love to chase a soft target … (read more)

Posted: 15th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)


Ugly Truths

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

And if it can’t … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Sayer’s Rotten Underpants

“I’VE always been a tilter of lances against authority,” says Celebrity Big Brother escapee Leo Sayer.

Though not obvious at the time, Sayer’s immortal lyric “I wanna dance the night away” … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Urban’s Tub Of Love

“KEITH CHEATED ON NICOLE WITH ME.”

More Urban myths – or truths – as the Enquirer catches up with Amanda Wyatt, a 23-year-old blonde.

“I feel sorry for Nicole,” says Amanda, who … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Britney & Beckham

DAVID Beckham confessed that he sought advice from his girlfriend, Tom Cruise, before accepting the $1 million a week to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Becks said, “I was on … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


David Beckham Saves Us All

EVERY new musical age pushes the boundaries back a little further.

And for punk rockers gobbing at their fans, we introduce the popstar vomit.

The Mirror raised an umbrella and looked on … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Pete Doherty’s Scrambled Eggs

PETE Doherty is no longer under arrest. But he has been.

With Prince Harry and his blonde safely restored to the palace, police are able to turn their attention to the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Chelsy Davy – We Have You Surrounded

ROBBERS, burglars and Pete Doherty take note – if you want to avoid arrest best check the Royals’ social diary before going out.

Having already spotted Prince William’s paramour Kate Middleton … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Distend It Like Beckham

DAVID Beckham explains why he has signed a £128million deal that will see him end his playing days in the United States.

Says Day-vid in the Sun: “Soccer in America is … (read more)

Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Balance Of Payments

AS David and the Beckhams head to the United States, their departure creates some space in the UK.

Not that the Beckhams are the only Brits seeking their fortunes out West. … (read more)

Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Spooks In Your Inbox

War on terror – SMS alert…

FROM tomorrow (Tuesday), MI5 is offering a new service.

MI5 is to send emails alerting the public to the prospect of an imminent terror attack. From tomorrow, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


(White) Trashing Jade

Trashing Celebrity Big Brother

GOODBYE Jackiey.

You came to pick up your daughter from a friend’s house party, embarrassed her and left. Many parents have done it.

But why did Jackiey leave so … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


War With The Birds

“I WAS CRIPPLED BY A PARROT.”

It was never going to be easy following “KATE ‘N’ PETE’S 3-IN-BED ROMP WITH TOM CAT”, the Star’s front-runner in Headline Of The Year. But … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Anyone Seen Suri?

SINCE Suri Cruise’s birth we have hardly seen her.

She did do a photospread for Vanity Fair and was a familiar face when the couple wed in Italy, but she has … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Ron(aldo) Atkinson

GEMMA Atkinson is the 22nd sexiest babe in the world, according to the Star’s knowing readership.

Gemma is sexier than Jade Goody (36), Imogen Thomas (40) and Paris Hilton (5449). Gemma … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)


The Man For Atlantis

“EUROPE: the future. This is how global warming will ravage the continent, reveals the EU.”

The Independent leads with a map. It is a picture of the European Unions surrounded by … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother’s F***in’ Squillel

HAS anyone seen a fuckin’ squillel in the Celebrity Big Brother house?

It was there a moment ago. That grandmother was holding it up and talking about it. It was made … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Action Men

TIRED of the War On Terror?

If you are, It is understandable. This war, as with all wars, was supposed to be over Christmas. But that has been and gone. And … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother Burns

Celebrity Big Brother burns…

“MY wild sex with Leo missus as he played ping pong.”

As kinky sex goes, the tale of Celebrity Big Brother escapee Donny Tourette and Leo Sayer’s wife … (read more)

Posted: 8th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s Wedding; Heather Mills Kicks Out; Kate Middleton Is Being Watched..

Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s wedding; Heather Mills kicks out; Kate Middleton is being watched..  

KATE Moss and Pete Doherty exchanged “High dos”.

With 2007 in its infancy, the Sun drew its readers’ … (read more)

Posted: 7th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment