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Best In Show: Lindsay Lohan’s Splash & Grab

LINDSAY Lohan and Calum best are in the seas off the Bahamas.

Lohan, who has undergone a period of intensive ginger therapy in a California clinic, and Best, famous for being … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Stumped: Bob Woolmer Was Not Murdered

BOB Woolmer was not murdered.

Woolmer was not struck a fatal blow by a cricket ball as he and the Pakistani team played a game of corridor cricket.

Woolmer was not killed … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


£9.3 Billion London Olympics Of No Benefit To UK

WE all remember their faces – has-been athletes such as Steve Cram and Kelly Holmes, not to mention Lord Sebastian of Coe, erupting with joy as the decision to award … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)


Pretty Vacant: Lack Of Skilled Labour

COMPANIES in Britain are struggling to fill all their job vacancies, according to a report in the Guardian.

A survey by the snappily monikered Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development and … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Money | Comment


Unpaid Old Bills: Police Want Their Money

THE Government has come under fire from police forces across the land for failing to cough up £7million owed to the nation’s law enforcers.

The Mirror reveals that police spent over … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Money | Comment


Web Of Vice: Big Brother Sex Cams

“BIG BROTHER SEX SPIES,” says the Star’s front page.

Fans of the show can “look forward to seeing the girls peeling off and wannabes getting intimate with each other”.

All housemates will … (read more)

Posted: 14th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Hamas Time: Playing Snakes And Snakes With The Nippers

HAMAS is all about open dialogue and democracy. Having given the world Farfur the bigoted mouse, Hamas gives the world its magazine with anti-Jewish games for all the family. Bring … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Euro Zoned Out: Euro Is Choice Of Cocaine

THE Euro is the No. 1 choice in the cocaine industry. Users might prefer to use rolled up fivers, but the traffickers love the euro.

This from International Herald Tribune:
MADRID: The … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Tony Blair: Taking Liberties Since 1997

TONY Blair has passed over.

And while he writes his memoirs – suggestions for a title to the usual address – a film of Tony’s time in power and legacy … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Big Brother: George Galloway Tells It Like He Wants

GEORGE Galloway was thrown out of the Labour Party for inciting Arabs to fight British troops, inciting British troops in Iraq and threatening to stand against Labour in an election, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Post Big Brother Shock Disorder: The Diagnosis

POST Big Brother Shock Disorder: an anxiety disorder that may develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which acute mental or physical harm occurred or was … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Madeleine McCann: When Will It End?

THE search for Madeleine McCann goes on. And all we want to read is that she has been found alive and well.

But each day just brings more pictures of Madeleine … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (36)


To Hell And Back: John McCain Finds Osam Bin Laden

Quote: “I will follow him to the gates of Hell.” Senator John McCain, referring to Osama bin Laden during the Republican presidential debate.

Figure of Speech: euche (YOO-kay), the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment (1)


Accidents No Longer Happen On Britsh Roads

NO more  accidents on British roads. Amazing isn’t it. Not one accident. Not a single one. Who said speed cameras and traffic police sat in cars would not one day … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Tony Blair: Come Out! We Have You Surrounded

TONY Blair’s is at Trimdon Labour Club.

The BBC was there:
“Mr Blair was given a standing ovation by around 250 Labour activists and members who had crammed into the tiny … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Time To Deport Star Trek Fans To 40 Eridani

A MISSION to an inhabitable planet around the Vulcan Star 40 Eridani? Can we send Star Trek fans there?

From Planet Quest:
Astronomers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory have recently concluded … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


American Idol: A Fix Of Pro Life For Jordin Sparks

AMERICAN Idol enters the final gasps and Tabloid Baby senses scandal, controversy and other things that might just make the show more intersting than the usual karaoke on the end … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (14)


Madeleine McCann: Increasing The Fear

MADELEINE McCann is missing. Still missing.

Today is Madeleine’s fourth birthday. And the newspapers are leading with pictures of Madeleine’s mother, Kate.

The Sun says “We share your pain”. There is nothing … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (62)


Big Brother Chantelle Houghton’s New Assets

WITH Big Brother 8 looming, Chantelle Houghton finds the moment opportune to tell us about her latest adventure: she having new breasts fitted.

“I never thought I’d have a boob job … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Spinning The Axis Of Evil: Iran And North Korea

IRAN and North Korea have much in common:

Both are on George Bush’s Axis of Evil.

Both dislike America and the West.

North Korean TV’s Common Sense programme stressed the “negative effects” of … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Barack Obama Does Not Add Up

US Presidential hopeful Barack Obama is in Chicago. Obama recently gave speach in which he spoke about the tragic tornado in Greensburg, Kansas. During the speech he said that 10,000 … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Tony Blair Over There: Americans On The Bulldog Of War

ACROSS the Atlantic tears are being shed for Tony Blair. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or)

“Godspeed, Tony Blair,” wails the New York Daily News, while the New York Post simply sighs “Tony … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)


Madeleine McCann: Have You Seen David Beckham?

ITV lunchtime news has just broadcast David Beckham’s appeal on Spanish TV for news of Madeleine McCann.

Why?

ITV broadcasts in the UK, and the media over here is full of pictures … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (42)


Clueless In Portugal: Madeleine McCann

MADELEINE McCann is missing.

Someone knows where Madeleine McCann is. But they are not telling. They will not end the agony. They will not end the nightmares for Madeleine and her … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (70)


No Votes: Tony Blair’s Sedgefield District Council Shock Results

RESULTS for the Sedgefield District Council election- Tony Blair’s home ward of New Trimdon and Trimdon Grange in County Durham.

Lucy Howels (Labour) 441 votes
Amanda Foster (BNP) 75 votes
Shirley … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment