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Anorak | Anorak - Part 1878

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Idoits, Lunatics, Deaf & Dumb

AN election pack created by Bournemouth Borough Council states that “lunatics and idiots” and “deaf and dumb persons” are disqualified from standing.

Can this be right?

Matt Pitcher, electoral services officer, explains: “The … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Guilty Or Not?

 

MEET Michael Edward Thompson. As reported, Thompson was arrested by South Carolina police and charged with inhaling toxic vapors. As the police notes state, at the time of his arrest, … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2007 | In: Strange But True | Comments (8)


A Hunger Strike For Sanjaya Malakar & Heather Mills

NOW how would an anonymous woman claiming she’d gone on a hunger strike until Sanjaya Malakar was eliminated from American Idol become international news?

The story seemed to be a fake … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Britney Spears’ Biggest Mistake Is…

BRITNEY Spears is reported to have told Keven Federline: “You’re the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, but thank you for my babies.”

There have been many mistakes. What do you think Britney’s biggest error … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Iran President Ahmadinejad Denies

WATCHING the news on the now freed hostages in Iran raises a lot of interesting points for Poldraw.

Some are more valid than others, such as the comparison with illegal … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comments (2)


American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar Is Stern Con

AMERICAN IDOL’S song whisperer Sanjaya Malakar turns in another memorable, winning performance.

And audience member holds aloft a sign that reads “Sanjaya is my Papaya”.

And one of the show’s executive producers … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)


A Celebrity’s Progress – Jesse Metcalfe Away From Girls Aloud’s Nadine

LOOK on, dear reader, as the celebrity makes his way from the city of self destruction to the celestial city of stars that we call Rehab.

“What shall I do?” he … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


The Fifty Stone American Patty

EVERYBODY loves a good ‘fat American’ story. And the latest sage of a housebound woman from New Jersey plays up to all the usual stereotypes.

Fifty stone (700 lbs) Patty Brown … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Jesus Was A Good Easter Egg

The Somerfield supermarket chain surveyed 1,130 adults on the meaning of Easter. The survey found that one-in-six 16 to 24-year-olds know nothing about Good Friday. Ten per cent know nothing … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Metallica And Other Children

Can you name your child what you like?

Swedish couple Michael and Karolina Tomaro want to call their daughter Metallica. “It suits her,” says Karolina Tomaro. “She’s decisive and she knows what she wants.”

But … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Keith Richards Snorts His Dad

KEITH Richards, friend of Anorak, says: “It was the strangest thing I had ever had to snort but it went down well.”

What did Keith snort? The clue is in the … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Mail Makes Stand Againt YouTube Cyber Bullying

TEACHERS under pressure. Targets unrealistic. Exams worthless. Not to worry, the Mail is here to help.

It has seen an example of “cyber-bullying” in which a teacher at a school in … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (12)


White House Press Room’s New Strategy

QUOTE: “I see your point, Jim.” White House Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino.

Figure of Speech: concessio (con-CESS-io), the figure of agreeability.

We’re seeing a bold new strategy in the White House … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Princess Diana Should Belt Up

“DIANA DEATH: ANOTHER COVER-UP,” announces the front page of the Express, in typical fashion.

“Coroner says she will not reveal Charles and Philip secret papers.”

This is, says the Express, “crucial evidence.”

Coroner … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Heather Mills’ Disability Benefit Dance

HAS Heather Mills gone too far on Dancing With The Stars?

We ask in light of the story that Brian Callaghan, 60, has been asked to show proof of his disability … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Strange But True | Comment


John Reid, Fedoras & The Labour Leadership

Deciding when to throw your hat into the ring of any significant election contest is always about timing. Throw your hat in too early and you lose the momentum, join … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


British Lawyers Go West

US TV is full of legal dramas starring svelte and urbane lawyers balancing tough court cases and steamy office romances and now it seems that all that glamour and sex … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Money | Comment


Sick Phone Charges On The NHS Patientline

IT seems as though the nation’s “entrepreneurs” will do whatever it takes to squeeze every last penny out of the old and the infirm.

Following the recent furore over extortionate car … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Money | Comments (3)


Lloyds Bank Wants A Sharia The Wealth

NEVER ones to miss out on a new sources of profit, banks are now turning their attention to the previously untapped Islamic business market.

According to the Guardian, Lloyds TSB has … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Money | Comment


Heather Mills Is A Leg-end

HEATHER Mills is “thrilling America”.

So says the Express on its cover page. And reading on we learn: “Heather thrills America.”

“She’s been called a gold-digger, compulsive liar and fantasist,” says the … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Princess Diana Press Gangs Beyonce & Justin Timberlake

OH, oh, we feel a daily Mirror feature coming on.

The paper’s weapons of mass destruction counter has long since ticked it last – each day the Mirror produced a number … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Jade Goody Is The Real Princess Diana

LAYDEES and gentlemen, please be upstanding for Jade Goody, “The Princess Diana of Reality TV.”

Of course, this is not as “bizarre” as the Star claims. Diana was the celebrity princess … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pass The Bowl – Sanjaya Malakar Is Finger Lickin’ Good

AMERCIAN Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar has been made an offer he must surely refuse. 

It goes like this:

“Congratulations on catching America’s ears…and eyes. Over the past month, you’ve wowed the world with … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


President Bush Muddies Iran’s Waters

A ‘turn for the worse’. From Duncan R in the Forums.

Efforts to secure the release of the captured British soldiers/sailors suffered a setback with news that USA President, George ‘Wanker’ … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Dancing With the Stars – Heather Mills’ Pogo Feet

IS Heather Mills Playing Fair On Dancing With The Stars?

THREE weeks into Dancing With The Stars, the American version of Strictly Come Dancing, and Heather Mills is mired in controversy.

According … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (5)