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Shear Madness – Britney Spears’ Hair, Jade Goody’s Nose & Prince Harry’s Salute

BRITNEY Spears has done for bald men what Victoria Beckham has done for thin women: she has made people question their motives.

Reasons why Britney took up the clippers and shaved … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)


Gun & Dusted – David Cameron’s Killer

INTRODUCING Ryan Florence – the man who would kill David Cameron.

Had David Cameron turned around and seen 17-year-old Florence firing at him with an imaginary pistol, the Tory leader would … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Is Britney Spears Next?

“IS Britney the next Nicole?”

No sooner has Anna Nicole Smith shuffled away from the VIP area than the Enquirer is looking for her replacement. And it is looking at Britney … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Daily Wail

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

And if it can’t … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Porn Idol Antonella Barba’s Past

OH well. We can’t say we’re surprised, but it looks like the scandal over American Idol contestant Antonella Barba’s photographic past has come to a head even quicker than we’d … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Wag & Bob’s Tale

“WHEN you’re sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head that’s Zamora…”

Bobby Zamora may not be the Premier League’s sharpest shooter but that doesn’t stop Nicola T pinning … (read more)

Posted: 24th, February 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


Black & White – Big Brother Danielle Lloyd’s Colour Blind

“BIG BROTHER DANI SEXIEST PICS EVER.”

Further proof that the Star believed the charmless Danielle Lloyd would be a hit on Big Brother as it once more leads with a picture … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Not On His Nelly – Gazza Upsets Furtado

PAUL Gascoigne is in West End club Mo*vida. So too is Nelly Furtado.

There eyes meet. “Who is that idiot?” asks Nelly.

He is, of course, Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne, the man who … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Prince Among Men – Harry’s Off To Iraq

“SHOULD HARRY GO TO WAR?”

The Star asks the question that matters. But readers should note that the paper’s phone vote carries only limited weight and whatever the result Prince Harry … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Jade Goody’s Mystery Guest

IS it right that the kiddies suffer?

Jade Goody erred, that much is certain. But to learn that the children will pay for her misdemeanours is so, so unfair.

And it is … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)


FForgetting Jordan – Gareth Gates Speaks Out

WHO says that talent doesn’t out?

And we open up the Sun to read that Gareth Gates is back.

Not that the reality TV singer ever went away, not really. Gareth, who … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Naomi Campbell Sees Double

THERE are two Naomi Campbells.

We talk not of Naomi split personality, a Jekyll and Hyde, a good Naomi and a phone-chucking Naomi. We talk of the other Naomi, the one … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Rugger Lovers – Kate & Will Try

SO in love are Prince William and Kate Middleton that he’s taken her to the rugby. And she show signs of actually wanting to go.

There they are cheering on the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Over The Moon – Sting & The Police Bounce Back

“I WOKE up one morning about three months ago and this light bulb went off in my head: I’m going to call Andy and Stewart and tell them we should … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Hugh Grant Co-Hosts Liz Hurley’s Wedding

HUGH Grant is to be the best man’s “co-host” at Liz Hurley wedding to Arun Nayer.

Of course, Grant has a history of weddings, it being the film Four Weddings & … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Coleen McLoughlin’s Footballers’ Wives Documentary

COLEEN McLoughlin wants to tell you something.

“Tell someone you go out with a Premiership footballer and a lot of people immediately draw conclusions about the type of girl you are,” … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


Look Out For The Transvestite Terrorists

RUN! Don’t walk!

If you thought Omar Bakri was mad and Abu Hamza a hook handed one-eyed purple people eater, then prepare to be terrorised out of your mind.

Here comes the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


In The Orange Corner – Big Brother’s Jade Goody & Danielle Lloyd Fight

“IT’S clear that Jade still needs her anger management therapy. Dani looked shell-shocked.”

Looking shell-shocked is what Danielle Lloyd, for it is she, does well, what with her being a mo-del … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Nunny Shall Sleep – Big Brother Michelle Bass’s Eurovision

BIG Brother housemate emeritus Michelle Bass can’t talk for long. She’s off out. “It’s a transvestite karaoke party.”

Oh? “But this thing is I think I have a fear of transvestites. … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Croft Original – Kerry Katona’s Wedding

PICK the crabsticks from your teeth and crack open another bottle of Iceland’s premier champagne – Kerry Katona is married.

Kerry, who was once Kerry McPadding, is now Kerry Croft, wife … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Princess Diana – The Second Coming

PRINCESS Diana remains embalmed on the Express’s front page.

But darken and lengthen the hair, airbrush the thread lines and reshape the face. Look again. Diana’s resemblance to Kate Middleton is … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2007 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Jade Goody’s Old Habits

“JADE’S back in rehab.”

So says the Star’s front page. And reading on we learn that “Big Brother bully” Jade Goody – rebranded Jade Hoody – is within the cushioned walls … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Tom Cruise & Katie Homes Go Back To School

TOM Cruise and Katie Holmes match.

Clad in what fashion watchers are calling Star Trek chic, Tom and Katie wear matching silver helmets, matching moon boots and matching spandex ankle socks … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Virtual War On Terror

SEE the motorway driver parking his car. His shoulders slump. His neck winds back in. He craves relaxation. Such are the strains of life on the road.

So he walks into … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


You Say, You Pay

“BECAUSE of a technical problem with our telephone supplier” You Say We Pay, mainstay of teatimes with Richard & Judy, has been axed.

It was Judy Finnegan’s job to make that … (read more)

Posted: 19th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)